Hopefully this will be the only other entry with explanations amongst the thoughts and reflections. At least until I'm done with The Purpose Driven Life, the titles of the entry will correspond with the book chapter names (amazing how that works, no?). Also, I'll probably be quoting different parts of this text, and I don't really remember MLA or APA very well, so hopefully the Copyright Police don't notice me. There will probably be Bible verses in here too, but I'm pretty sure I'm safe as long as there are book, chapter, and verse, and what good would me using Bible verses if I didn't tell you where they came from anyway??
PS- if ever you need to cite the Bible for a research project, there are ways.
At the end of each day's reading, there is a "Point to Ponder," a "Verse to Remember," and a "Question to Consider." You will be seeing these, and again, as these aren't mine but the book's, I thought I should warn you.
Finally (I hope), there is a theme for each week. The first is "What on Earth am I here for?" So, for the next 7 days, this is the overall idea/question being addressed. There are also study questions for each theme, and I'm not sure how I'm going to address those yet. I might put them in the last entry for the week, or maybe use them as the ultimate reflection after this series is done, or who knows. I've got 6 more days to figure that out, right?
~~~~~
Okay. Hopefully I haven't lost you yet. Without further rambling, let's explore Day 1. . . .
The thing that struck me first was an opening quote from Bertrand Russell, a philosopher from the late 19th Century/early 20th Century era:
"Unless you assume a God, the question of life's purpose is meaningless." I found a variety of other quotes by said person. Interesting things (many of which Ayn Rand would heartily disagree), but ultimately this is the viewpoint of a self proclaimed atheist (no seriously, check it out; I did my research. Go down about 2/3 of the page to the "Proof of God" section. And if you're into philosophy, check the whole thing out; it's definitely interesting).
How do we define purpose? Think about something simple, like shoes. What are the purpose of shoes? Well, to protect our feet, clearly. But does the existence of the shoe preceed its use, or did someone finally get tired of stubbing their toes and invent the shoe for the PURPOSE of protecting their feet? I don't think ancient societies found sandals and other feet coverings growing on trees, and assuming this website is at least somewhat accurate, shoes were indeed created for a purpose.
My whole point in that illustration was that if we make things to fill a purpose, doesn't logic tell us we also were made with a purpose? Now, that assumes that you agree that some being created us. I personally have a hard time believing that the universe, in all its vastness and minute detail, just "happened" with no controlling force behind it. The Earth just happens to be the only planet on which living things can exist? The human body (which, btw, has only ±1.5 °F of room for its core temperature to fluxuate before considered "unhealthy"), with all its intricate systems, nerves, organs, tissues, just happens to be set up in a perfect configuration? I don't buy it. I don't think that two "parallel universes" collided and formed our universe (the union of String Theory and the Big Bang Theory- sorry no website on this one, but I spent a good deal of time in HS looking at String Theory on my own, and that is one of the things that stuck with me), nor that life developed from self replicating organisms in a primodial soup (I DO have a website that I haven't fully explored but looks very interesting; it proposes Intelligent Design at the very least. I don't think it is specifically Christian, but it's something). So at the very least, grant me the premise that there is SOMETHING else out there, be it the Christian concept of God or otherwise. Or show me scientific evidence that tells us how things came to be.
On a side note, I love this (from the ID website): "Creationism is different from intelligent design because it is based on the existence axiom. Existence axiom: God exists." Granted, this is meant to be an argument/seperation between "Intelligent Design" and "Creationism," but hey; I'm trying to get this back on topic. If the "Intelligent Designer" created us, then by reason there must be a purpose.
So, we were created by something for a reason. I can dig that. Let's go back to the shoes: do we ask the shoes what they are for? Of course not! We made them and we know exactly why we made them; to protect our feet.
Also, if we were created by some greater thing than us, why are we trying to find purpose by looking inside ourselves? Shouldn't we be looking to the Creator (again, if you don't want to accept the existence of my God, then at least whatever being out there) to discover our purpose?
And what good would it be for us to create (or buy, I doubt anyone reading is a cordwainer) shoes if we were never to wear them? No one goes out and gets a pair of Keds (I don't know why Keds, it just popped into my head) to have them sit in their box for all eternity, or until the moths eat them. So clearly we weren't created just to exist, but to fulfill some purpose.
The book uses the example of an invention that comes with an instruction manual (the invention being humans, the inventor being God, and the instruction manual being the Bible, of course). I don't think I can add to that, but it resonates with me.
Two short quotes that pretty much sum up the mess above: "You were made by God and for God- and until you understand that, life will never make sense." And: "Focusing on ourselves will never reveal our life's purpose."
So now that I've rambled a lot, here are the three things I warned you about at the beginning of this entry-
Point to Ponder: It's not about me.
It's so easy, especially in today's society, to be selfish. We're always told that we have to look out for ourselves. Do what's best for us. Keep climbing until you get to the top of the ladder, whether it's family, work, social circle, whatever. I propose a slight twist of perspective on this: In looking out for ourselves, shouldn't we take the guidance of He who created us? And what could be better for our lives than to offer them up to the One who made us, for His use and our mutual pleasure in being granted life and the freedom to participate? Why aren't we busy climbing the spiritual ladder? I don't mean that to sound as if we can step our way up to heaven, but shouldn't we be in constant pursuit of a life in which we worship a God that is good, a God who created us, a God who gives us everything we have, a God who offered up His Son as a sacrifice so that we might choose the freedom of forgiveness? Let me tell you, I'm finding this ladder to be the most difficult and yet the most rewarding ladder I've ever attempted to ascend. And I know that it doesn't lead to Heaven, 'cause I got that ticket a while ago, but the treasure to be found on the way up. . . man. On one side I wish I had been living like this since I was 7 years old, understanding more and more as I grew older. I wish the whole McGee situation had never happened, and that I wouldn't have become disillusioned with the Church. I wish I hadn't spend my 4 years of college acknowledging God in my life, and yet choosing not to live for Him. "Thanks for that whole salvation thing, but I'm pretty much gonna do what I feel like until things get horrible, and then I'll turn tail and head back to you." OK, it wasn't exactly like that.
But on the other side, God has a plan, and I believe that things happened in my life up to this point the way they did so that now I have no doubt in my mind the existence, power, and love of God. The defiant adolescent finally comes around to realize how childish he's been acting. It's time for me to start becoming a man of God. And that means that it's not really about me and what I can do, but giving everything in my life over to Him and participating in what He will do with me and through me.
Verse to Remember: Colossians 1:16b "Everything got started in him and finds its purpose in him." -The Message
Here it is in NIV (not that I don't like The Message, but I think being raised on NKJV and now going through the Bible in its entirety in NIV, The Message just seems strange in that it's. . . well. . . normal words and phrases haha)- "All things were created by Him and for Him."
Unfortunately, while my Life Application Bible has interesting notes, they aren't related to the topic, and I need to stop birdwalking and finish this entry.
(But I have to share this because it just happened: I was looking to see the official name of this Bible, and I discovered that my Sunday School class wrote little congratulatory notes and verses in the front couple pages. They are such awesome people :) but I can't believe I just found those. Go me).
So, again, ultimately if we accept the Bible as God's instruction manual, then all the verses from this chapter (Job. 12:10, Roman 8:6 (I LOVE Romans), Matt. 16:25, 1 Cor. 2:7, Eph. 1:11, and the one being discussed) have some kind of life application. Granted, that's almost like circular reasoning. . . I think. . . I've been typing for over an hour and haven't eaten dinner, so yeah. . . God tells us in the Bible that He created us with a purpose in mind. The end.
Question to Consider: In spite of all the advertising around me, how can I remind myself that life is really about living for God, not myself?
For me, that comes ultimately from what Pastor Dan talked about this morning: the greatest commandment (Matt 22:34-40) is to love God with EVERYTHING (heart, soul, and mind). That means that no matter what I am doing (reading, working out, listening to music, teaching, talking on the phone, you get the idea), I should be doing it as an act of worship to God. Does that mean I shouldn't watch movies, listen to music, or read books with "inappropriate content"? Yep. That's a challenge. But again, I feel there's irrefutable evidence that I should give everything over to God. He's loaning to us everything we have, be it money, family, time, whatever you want to quantify, it's all His. So ultimately I need to keep what a worshipful lifestyle looks like in my head, and THEN LIVE IT. "Think only that which points towards God and away from the world" should be my life motto. I think this blog will help in pursuit of that lifestyle. I've seen/felt God work in my life already, and it was AWESOME. Why aren't I always living that way?
The time for change is now. 2010, I am planning to approach you with a purpose.
God's purpose.
Thursday, August 31, 2017
Day 2
There was an image/object lesson I heard on Z Radio during my drive home yesterday that not-so-surprisingly related to the reading yesterday, but after all the rambling I forgot to mention it. It was something along the lines of getting a set of 6 dice and rolling them, getting the numbers all to match or line up perfectly (or something like that). The point was that the odds of rolling them in the EXACT way to get that EXACT arrangement is basically impossible. But, if we manually arrange the dice the way we want, then there's no chance involved, and we get it right the first time. In much the same way, God lined up the universe in the exact way it needed to be; it didn't just happen by a random, essentially impossible chance. And things are the way they are because HE MADE IT THAT WAY.
So, Day 2.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Actually, the lesson above related well to this topic (probably the week's theme, too).
I think sometimes it's hard for us to understand that we don't understand. What did I just say? Well, what I mean is, if we believe in this all-knowing, all-powerful God, and we know he planned us from the beginning of whenever (yet another point of not knowing or being able to comprehend- how long did God exist before he created the universe? And what exactly prompted Him to do so? These are the types of questions that I love to imagine something like the opening of the Silmarillion), then how much is what we are doing really free-will? On the one side, I don't feel like I'm being controlled like a puppet by any means. I can type the letter "q" in quotations, and I don't think that that action was prompted, made, or in any way an action God wanted me to do. So then I start thinking about Calvinism and the whole predestination idea, and then my mind usually explodes. Again, to be a dork, the scene in the Silmarillion where Aule creates the Dwarves and Illuvatar grants them "freewill" instead of forcing them to be mentally linked to their creator (and therefore dooming Aule to an eternity of always keeping his mind on this one creation or the eventual death of the Dwarves from lack of ability to function on their own). So I guess it's kind of like that. . . I feel I'm getting off topic. Point being, I can accept that I was created at a specific time and have met people in life that I was supposed to meet, and have taken the opportunities that I am supposed to take, etc. etc. But again, it's like. . . how do I know then what choices are "right" and which are "wrong," especially if none of them are really "my" plan? Maybe that's why it's such a great thing to give one's life to God; He knows exactly what you are supposed to do. The great part then is that he doesn't force your hand, per se; I guess even though someone knows you are going to do something, that doesn't mean that they keep you from doing it, nor make you do it, but instead just let you do what you are going to do. I suppose it might be like watching someone eat dinner: you see the plate of food, you see the person holding the fork. You see the fork go into the food, and come up to the person's mouth, and at this point there is no doubt the next step is that the food will go in and be consumed (I suppose you could allow that the person is going to set the fork down, or choke, or randomly throw the utinsel and food away, but the difference between us and God is that He actually DOES know. We are only 99% sure). But we aren't making the other person eat. We don't control their muscles, or their thoughts, or anything. We can certainly influence them, talking to them or physically moving their hand/arm, but ultimately they make a choice and have an action to go with it.
I don't think that really explained anything. I'm just rambling. Back to the book. . .
I thought it was an interesting point when it said that God knows that the genetic make-up of our parents was exactly what was needed to make us the way we are. I feel too many people try to separate science and religion, and if you read the last entry, I feel (and always have) that they compliment each other. In fact, they do it perfectly.
"God never does anything accidentally, and he never makes mistakes. He has a reason for everything he creates." Go check out Psalm 104. "Just happened" to read it last night, right before I went to bed.
("Just happened" is my subtle way of saying "I don't believe in coincidences")
I think the best part is when it said that God created us to express his love. "God is love" is found in I John 4:8. God didn't need to create us; he wanted to, so that we could feel, share, and rejoice in that love. After all, love seems to be a pretty powerful thing in our world, as people do some pretty crazy things to get or show it.
I think, when I have time, I'm going to make links to all the Bible verses I put in this blog. I looked up how to make links in HTML, and (as you have observed) I have gone crazy with it :)
So here we are, nearing the end-
Point to Ponder: I am not an accident.
Really, depending on what's going on, this can be a powerfully encouraging statement. Like in LOTR (here we go again), when Gandalf tells Frodo that "Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, in which case you also were meant to have it." For me, it means that I was not *meant* to get a job with Teach For America, that I was not *meant* to live and work in Michigan, but that I was *meant* to find this position in Florida and move down to DeLand. And yes indeed, Gandalf, that is an encouraging thought.
Verse to Remember: Isaiah 44:2 "I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." -Contemporary English Version
This is the "He formed us in the womb" verse, not to be confused with the "He knew us in the womb" verse from Jeremiah. Again, it's just kind of nice to know that we are not creatures of chance in a haphazard world, but creations of love put in specific situations.
Question to Consider: I konw that God uniquely created me. What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?
This. . . this is a tough question. I'm going to go backwards.
In general, I'm happy with my physical appearance. Yes, I'm working out and trying to eat better since the move, but that's more to do with living healthily rather than trying to get a "beach bod." As a student of efficiency, I want my body to run at its optimum condition, right? The bags under my eyes could use some work, but who's fault is that, crazy accompanist who took ridiculous numbers of credit hours and ensembles and STILL found time to make friends? So I can't complain.
Background. . . strange question. However, being a WASP I haven't really suffered persecution for, well, anything. I'm happy being white (clearly, according to my dancing skillz) and since I've never been anything but, I don't know that I have anything more to say.
Personality. . . ay, there's the rub. I can live with the dorkiness, passion for music, and all around social awkwardness. It's the little guy in my head that "keeps my ego in check," which is code for "convinces me everything I am and do is worthless."
That may seem extreme, but a very small population knows exactly what I'm talking about.
It's funny, because that one personality flaw has become a point of contention time and time again between me and God. Why did He create me this way? What's the point of making someone with a mental defect that does not allow them to see the good in anything they do? And why should I serve or even talk to a God who has that as part of His master plan for me? Is it supposed to be some sick joke? These were the exact questions I came up with this summer, maybe a month before I got the interview to Florida.
Man, was I ever wrong.
The couple weeks surrounding my last birthday were some of the hardest I have ever lived. My head was filled with a nearly uncontrollable rage (and I'm lucky I didn't physically hurt myself or anyone else) and I was simply out of control. It's not easy to talk about nor to explain. . . but God had a plan, and saw me through to Florida. And here I am, finally getting my act together.
Weren't expecting to read that, were you? I don't know that I was planning on typing it. . . so maybe God did want me to type "q" earlier. . .
So, Day 2.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Actually, the lesson above related well to this topic (probably the week's theme, too).
I think sometimes it's hard for us to understand that we don't understand. What did I just say? Well, what I mean is, if we believe in this all-knowing, all-powerful God, and we know he planned us from the beginning of whenever (yet another point of not knowing or being able to comprehend- how long did God exist before he created the universe? And what exactly prompted Him to do so? These are the types of questions that I love to imagine something like the opening of the Silmarillion), then how much is what we are doing really free-will? On the one side, I don't feel like I'm being controlled like a puppet by any means. I can type the letter "q" in quotations, and I don't think that that action was prompted, made, or in any way an action God wanted me to do. So then I start thinking about Calvinism and the whole predestination idea, and then my mind usually explodes. Again, to be a dork, the scene in the Silmarillion where Aule creates the Dwarves and Illuvatar grants them "freewill" instead of forcing them to be mentally linked to their creator (and therefore dooming Aule to an eternity of always keeping his mind on this one creation or the eventual death of the Dwarves from lack of ability to function on their own). So I guess it's kind of like that. . . I feel I'm getting off topic. Point being, I can accept that I was created at a specific time and have met people in life that I was supposed to meet, and have taken the opportunities that I am supposed to take, etc. etc. But again, it's like. . . how do I know then what choices are "right" and which are "wrong," especially if none of them are really "my" plan? Maybe that's why it's such a great thing to give one's life to God; He knows exactly what you are supposed to do. The great part then is that he doesn't force your hand, per se; I guess even though someone knows you are going to do something, that doesn't mean that they keep you from doing it, nor make you do it, but instead just let you do what you are going to do. I suppose it might be like watching someone eat dinner: you see the plate of food, you see the person holding the fork. You see the fork go into the food, and come up to the person's mouth, and at this point there is no doubt the next step is that the food will go in and be consumed (I suppose you could allow that the person is going to set the fork down, or choke, or randomly throw the utinsel and food away, but the difference between us and God is that He actually DOES know. We are only 99% sure). But we aren't making the other person eat. We don't control their muscles, or their thoughts, or anything. We can certainly influence them, talking to them or physically moving their hand/arm, but ultimately they make a choice and have an action to go with it.
I don't think that really explained anything. I'm just rambling. Back to the book. . .
I thought it was an interesting point when it said that God knows that the genetic make-up of our parents was exactly what was needed to make us the way we are. I feel too many people try to separate science and religion, and if you read the last entry, I feel (and always have) that they compliment each other. In fact, they do it perfectly.
"God never does anything accidentally, and he never makes mistakes. He has a reason for everything he creates." Go check out Psalm 104. "Just happened" to read it last night, right before I went to bed.
("Just happened" is my subtle way of saying "I don't believe in coincidences")
I think the best part is when it said that God created us to express his love. "God is love" is found in I John 4:8. God didn't need to create us; he wanted to, so that we could feel, share, and rejoice in that love. After all, love seems to be a pretty powerful thing in our world, as people do some pretty crazy things to get or show it.
I think, when I have time, I'm going to make links to all the Bible verses I put in this blog. I looked up how to make links in HTML, and (as you have observed) I have gone crazy with it :)
So here we are, nearing the end-
Point to Ponder: I am not an accident.
Really, depending on what's going on, this can be a powerfully encouraging statement. Like in LOTR (here we go again), when Gandalf tells Frodo that "Bilbo was meant to find the Ring, in which case you also were meant to have it." For me, it means that I was not *meant* to get a job with Teach For America, that I was not *meant* to live and work in Michigan, but that I was *meant* to find this position in Florida and move down to DeLand. And yes indeed, Gandalf, that is an encouraging thought.
Verse to Remember: Isaiah 44:2 "I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." -Contemporary English Version
This is the "He formed us in the womb" verse, not to be confused with the "He knew us in the womb" verse from Jeremiah. Again, it's just kind of nice to know that we are not creatures of chance in a haphazard world, but creations of love put in specific situations.
Question to Consider: I konw that God uniquely created me. What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept?
This. . . this is a tough question. I'm going to go backwards.
In general, I'm happy with my physical appearance. Yes, I'm working out and trying to eat better since the move, but that's more to do with living healthily rather than trying to get a "beach bod." As a student of efficiency, I want my body to run at its optimum condition, right? The bags under my eyes could use some work, but who's fault is that, crazy accompanist who took ridiculous numbers of credit hours and ensembles and STILL found time to make friends? So I can't complain.
Background. . . strange question. However, being a WASP I haven't really suffered persecution for, well, anything. I'm happy being white (clearly, according to my dancing skillz) and since I've never been anything but, I don't know that I have anything more to say.
Personality. . . ay, there's the rub. I can live with the dorkiness, passion for music, and all around social awkwardness. It's the little guy in my head that "keeps my ego in check," which is code for "convinces me everything I am and do is worthless."
That may seem extreme, but a very small population knows exactly what I'm talking about.
It's funny, because that one personality flaw has become a point of contention time and time again between me and God. Why did He create me this way? What's the point of making someone with a mental defect that does not allow them to see the good in anything they do? And why should I serve or even talk to a God who has that as part of His master plan for me? Is it supposed to be some sick joke? These were the exact questions I came up with this summer, maybe a month before I got the interview to Florida.
Man, was I ever wrong.
The couple weeks surrounding my last birthday were some of the hardest I have ever lived. My head was filled with a nearly uncontrollable rage (and I'm lucky I didn't physically hurt myself or anyone else) and I was simply out of control. It's not easy to talk about nor to explain. . . but God had a plan, and saw me through to Florida. And here I am, finally getting my act together.
Weren't expecting to read that, were you? I don't know that I was planning on typing it. . . so maybe God did want me to type "q" earlier. . .
Day 3
Before I forget, I should warn you all- I am going to a conference in Tampa (yay music education!) and it's very likely that I won't have internet access (due to my school's laptop, not the hotel). So I might be writing the next 3 or 4 entries offline and posting them this Saturday. Just a heads up so that you don't think I'm giving up on this already :-p
~~~~~~~~
This chapter talks about five things people are driven by and then five benefits we get from living a purpose-driven life. So, I might as well do my best to focus my writing tonight on those points.
I think everyone can relate to each of the driving forces mentioned here. The first is guilt. A turning point for me personally was one of the first Sunday morning services (maybe even the first sermon) that Pastor Dan preached. He made a point to explain the difference between guilt and conviction. Guilt is us feeling bad about ourselves, and is destructive. Conviction is feeling bad about the sin, and making an effort to do better next time. At the end of the sermon, he made the challenge for us to stop feeling guilty and to start feeling convicted, and gave us the statement to remember, "I am not perfect, but Jesus is." You can hear the whole sermon here.
I'll be honest, I had to consult my notes to get most of that information, but the "not feeling guilty" thing has stuck with me since that sermon. But at that moment, I felt like I was being talked to specifically, not just listening to some random guy rambling on and on behind a podium (which, essentially, he was at that point; clearly I think highly of my pastor :-p). So guilt? Been there, done that. Nothing down that road that's worthwhile, trust me.
The second force mentioned is resentment and anger. A very smart statement from the book: "Resentment always hurts you more than the person you resent." Again, can't every one relate some situation with this? For me, the biggest was the downfall of Maple Grove Bible Church. I won't relate the entire story here and now, but it was poorly timed and devastating. It's hard enough when a Pastor's wife has an affair; it's worse when the human element is added, and fighting begins, and no one is focusing on God, and a church of probably around 150 dwindles down to maybe 30, and you lose contact with a person you've known since 5th grade and a mentor-type with whom you've always felt comfortable. I had no trust in the Church and everything that had started to unravel became harder to even care about. However, I never completely let go of God.
No, no. That's not correct. God never let go of me.
Fear is the next idea. I like the verse in this section (I John 4:18). For me, I too often succumb to the fear of rejection, which is why I find it hard to speak (because if you don't open your mouth, no one can refute or laugh at your ideas). I mean, just look at the world (like, REALLY look): most people are hiding behind something (family, friends, career, money, relationships, etc.) so that the "boogie monster" (meaning whatever it is they fear) can't get them.
Next comes materialism. Although I wouldn't say I have had major problems with this personally, I have first-hand observations of this. "No one can serve two masters," and I think, especially in our society, money easily becomes an idol. It shows success, it buys "happiness," it pays the bills, it provides food and entertainment, it's why most people go to work every day. . . it's pretty important for, you know, survival. But it shouldn't be the deciding factor for living life. Yeah, we need to be careful with money, budget, stay out of debt, etc. I'm all for that. But ultimately we need to trust God in that He is providing what we need, as long as we are doing our part and not wasting the money He has given us.
The need for approval is the final force in here. Ugh. . . this has probably been my primary stumbling block. I always have to make everyone happy; I don't want to say "no" and disappoint. I've gotten better with this, but I definitely identify mostly with this.
I'm losing focus (well, it's my own fault; after looking up the sermon from September, I'm catching up on two I missed from Christmas break). So I'm going to pause that and give this my focus.
So- five benefits.
The first is that purpose give meaning to life. That's a nice change from the quarter-life crisis I've been going through since graduation. That's another reason I'm finally finding my way back towards the path of sanctification- I know now that a life lived solely by my rules does not deeply satisfy me, heal my wounds, or answer all of my questions.
Second is that purpose simplifies life. I love simplicity! It goes hand in hand with efficiency. And it usually brings peace to life.
Purpose also focuses our lives. Only do what's important; get rid of the extra stuff that's unrelated to the purpose. Makes sense to me. I really like the analogy from the book: "The power of focusing can be seen in light. Diffused light has little power or impact, but you can concentrate its energy by focusing it. With a magnifying glass, the rays of the sun can be focused to set grass or paper on fire. When light is focused even more as a laser beeam, it can cut though steel." Such a powerful image. And who doesn't want to be a laser beam?
We can also get motivation for life from purpose. I do understand this; as a musician and a teacher, I've found myself to be very passionate about both music and education. And it's hard to describe other than "WHOA!!!! That's so cool! :) :) :)" (if that makes sense). I love seeing other people being passionate about whatever, because I've been there, and yeah. . . really, I think what I said before sums it up. There aren't words. Who doesn't want to feel like that (meaning passionate) about life in general?
Finally, purpose prepares us for eternity. The two questions it asks here are interesting, and I'm going to put them down but not discuss because it says both of these questions will be addressed later in the book. First, God will ask us on Judgement Day "What did you do with my Son, Jesus Christ?" Second is "What did you do with what I gave you?"
This chapter has made me excited about continuing to read this book. And now. . .
Point to Ponder: Living on Purpose is the path to peace.
Well, if you know why you exist, what you were put on the Earth for, then what is there to worry about?
Verse to Remember: Isaiah 26:3- "You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you." Today's English Version
I think having grown up in a Bible church and now going to a Baptist church, it's very important to me that whatever is being said is based on Scripture rather than conjecture. I like the note in my student Bible about this verse: "Perfect Plan- Isaiah, who lived in a time of tremendous turmoil, predicted more of the same. Godly people would suffer along with everybody else, he said. How should believers cope? Isaiah urged them to focus on a reality greater than their current troubles: to keep their minds steady on God, who never loses control over events." I added the emphasis, but it's true; God is always in control. And God is love (I'm not linking that again: I John 4:8 I think). It's a comforting thought to think the person in control is the guy who made you out of love.
Question to Consider: What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?
Hmmm. . . if I did a poll, I'm sure most people would say either "music" or "the job in Florida." You know, I used to say "I don't care what people think." I don't think that's true anymore. I want people to look at my life and say "You know, he has something different. Something good. Something that's making his quality of life better or different than what I have. And I want that too." I think I'm on my way to living that kind of life.
~~~~~~~~
This chapter talks about five things people are driven by and then five benefits we get from living a purpose-driven life. So, I might as well do my best to focus my writing tonight on those points.
I think everyone can relate to each of the driving forces mentioned here. The first is guilt. A turning point for me personally was one of the first Sunday morning services (maybe even the first sermon) that Pastor Dan preached. He made a point to explain the difference between guilt and conviction. Guilt is us feeling bad about ourselves, and is destructive. Conviction is feeling bad about the sin, and making an effort to do better next time. At the end of the sermon, he made the challenge for us to stop feeling guilty and to start feeling convicted, and gave us the statement to remember, "I am not perfect, but Jesus is." You can hear the whole sermon here.
I'll be honest, I had to consult my notes to get most of that information, but the "not feeling guilty" thing has stuck with me since that sermon. But at that moment, I felt like I was being talked to specifically, not just listening to some random guy rambling on and on behind a podium (which, essentially, he was at that point; clearly I think highly of my pastor :-p). So guilt? Been there, done that. Nothing down that road that's worthwhile, trust me.
The second force mentioned is resentment and anger. A very smart statement from the book: "Resentment always hurts you more than the person you resent." Again, can't every one relate some situation with this? For me, the biggest was the downfall of Maple Grove Bible Church. I won't relate the entire story here and now, but it was poorly timed and devastating. It's hard enough when a Pastor's wife has an affair; it's worse when the human element is added, and fighting begins, and no one is focusing on God, and a church of probably around 150 dwindles down to maybe 30, and you lose contact with a person you've known since 5th grade and a mentor-type with whom you've always felt comfortable. I had no trust in the Church and everything that had started to unravel became harder to even care about. However, I never completely let go of God.
No, no. That's not correct. God never let go of me.
Fear is the next idea. I like the verse in this section (I John 4:18). For me, I too often succumb to the fear of rejection, which is why I find it hard to speak (because if you don't open your mouth, no one can refute or laugh at your ideas). I mean, just look at the world (like, REALLY look): most people are hiding behind something (family, friends, career, money, relationships, etc.) so that the "boogie monster" (meaning whatever it is they fear) can't get them.
Next comes materialism. Although I wouldn't say I have had major problems with this personally, I have first-hand observations of this. "No one can serve two masters," and I think, especially in our society, money easily becomes an idol. It shows success, it buys "happiness," it pays the bills, it provides food and entertainment, it's why most people go to work every day. . . it's pretty important for, you know, survival. But it shouldn't be the deciding factor for living life. Yeah, we need to be careful with money, budget, stay out of debt, etc. I'm all for that. But ultimately we need to trust God in that He is providing what we need, as long as we are doing our part and not wasting the money He has given us.
The need for approval is the final force in here. Ugh. . . this has probably been my primary stumbling block. I always have to make everyone happy; I don't want to say "no" and disappoint. I've gotten better with this, but I definitely identify mostly with this.
I'm losing focus (well, it's my own fault; after looking up the sermon from September, I'm catching up on two I missed from Christmas break). So I'm going to pause that and give this my focus.
So- five benefits.
The first is that purpose give meaning to life. That's a nice change from the quarter-life crisis I've been going through since graduation. That's another reason I'm finally finding my way back towards the path of sanctification- I know now that a life lived solely by my rules does not deeply satisfy me, heal my wounds, or answer all of my questions.
Second is that purpose simplifies life. I love simplicity! It goes hand in hand with efficiency. And it usually brings peace to life.
Purpose also focuses our lives. Only do what's important; get rid of the extra stuff that's unrelated to the purpose. Makes sense to me. I really like the analogy from the book: "The power of focusing can be seen in light. Diffused light has little power or impact, but you can concentrate its energy by focusing it. With a magnifying glass, the rays of the sun can be focused to set grass or paper on fire. When light is focused even more as a laser beeam, it can cut though steel." Such a powerful image. And who doesn't want to be a laser beam?
We can also get motivation for life from purpose. I do understand this; as a musician and a teacher, I've found myself to be very passionate about both music and education. And it's hard to describe other than "WHOA!!!! That's so cool! :) :) :)" (if that makes sense). I love seeing other people being passionate about whatever, because I've been there, and yeah. . . really, I think what I said before sums it up. There aren't words. Who doesn't want to feel like that (meaning passionate) about life in general?
Finally, purpose prepares us for eternity. The two questions it asks here are interesting, and I'm going to put them down but not discuss because it says both of these questions will be addressed later in the book. First, God will ask us on Judgement Day "What did you do with my Son, Jesus Christ?" Second is "What did you do with what I gave you?"
This chapter has made me excited about continuing to read this book. And now. . .
Point to Ponder: Living on Purpose is the path to peace.
Well, if you know why you exist, what you were put on the Earth for, then what is there to worry about?
Verse to Remember: Isaiah 26:3- "You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you." Today's English Version
I think having grown up in a Bible church and now going to a Baptist church, it's very important to me that whatever is being said is based on Scripture rather than conjecture. I like the note in my student Bible about this verse: "Perfect Plan- Isaiah, who lived in a time of tremendous turmoil, predicted more of the same. Godly people would suffer along with everybody else, he said. How should believers cope? Isaiah urged them to focus on a reality greater than their current troubles: to keep their minds steady on God, who never loses control over events." I added the emphasis, but it's true; God is always in control. And God is love (I'm not linking that again: I John 4:8 I think). It's a comforting thought to think the person in control is the guy who made you out of love.
Question to Consider: What would my family and friends say is the driving force of my life? What do I want it to be?
Hmmm. . . if I did a poll, I'm sure most people would say either "music" or "the job in Florida." You know, I used to say "I don't care what people think." I don't think that's true anymore. I want people to look at my life and say "You know, he has something different. Something good. Something that's making his quality of life better or different than what I have. And I want that too." I think I'm on my way to living that kind of life.
Day 4
Well, I'm back from Tampa! I had a great time down there; myself and Craig (one of the people I have met in my Sunday School class at SBC: fellow music teacher, tennis buddy, oh, and the adjunct PROFESSOR OF PERCUSSION STUDIES at Stetson University. . . so cool) rode down together Wednesday morning, and now I'm back, and FREEZING. Apparently it snowed lightly in Orlando/Sanford/Deland area last night or early this morning. I thought I had moved away from this!
Anyway, there will be details in each of the next few entries (I'm posting four entries tonight, as individual days, so that it is easier to follow) about the trip, as well as the reflections on each chapter (which may be a little more disjointed than normal, since I didn't write complete entries but something more like notes and lists), so let's get started (because this is going to take a while).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can appreciate the analogy of our current life being like a dress-rehearsal for the real thing (eternity). If you have ever been involved with any kind of play (musical theater is where 95% of my experience is; the only straight play I was involved with was Arsenic and Old Lace, and I played Teddy. . . great experience, but I am not an actor by any means), then you know what tech week is like: crazy, insane, nothing is going right, people are doing their best (well, most of the time), but in the seat of the director (or music director, in my case) there can often be that frantic "THIS IS GOING TO FALL APART ON OPENING NIGHT" sensation that comes about on those last few dress rehearsals.
But then something amazing happens. The house fills up with people, the actors, musicians, and set crew wait anxiously, the lights dim, the curtain opens. . . and the magic of theater takes over. Things go pretty amazingly ("perfect" if you're lucky), and new and exciting character quirks, acting skills, singing skills (eeeek haha), and so on all of the sudden pop out of the woodwork. Everything comes together in the ways that you wanted them to in rehearsal. If you've been involved with something like that, you understand. I think going to Heaven will be like that, except 10,000x better, because it will be both perfect and beyond our wildest expectations.
We are all born with an inborn instinct for immortality. We don't understand death, and do much to attempt to prevent it, and after it happens, to honor the person who is gone. Often times it just doesn't seem right, especially when it happens to someone close to us. I think of Ian with this; he was what, 15 or 16 when he died? It seems so unfair. And sometimes it's hard to reconcile that; how did that play into God's plan? Unfortunately we don't always get to know the answer; I'm not exactly sure what Ian's death did to further God's will in the world, but I do trust that there was some kind of ripple effect, and that his life and death may have touched someone.
At the very least, it certainly makes you think more about eternity and what's going to happen to you, rather than ignoring the inevitable fact of dying.
One thing I thought about was why God created Earth, if our end is just to choose to go to Heaven or Hell anyway. Why bother with the step inbetween, and just send those who will rebel away, and keep those who will serve, trust, and obey with Him? I don't know that I have a great answer to that question yet, but I believe part of it can be found in the enjoyment there is in simple existence. I'm talking nature, the galaxy, music, math, architecture, whatever it is that gets you all excited! I don't know. Just something to think about.
It's interesting how different the things we give importance to and the things God thinks are important, and what a shift there is in our values and outlook when we finally find our paths leading towards God. Relationships, character, and integrity all of the sudden become the top priorities rather than success, popularity, and creating a archive of achievements. I will never forget Pastor McGee's analogy of integrity: he split up our class (man, I must have been in high school I think) and gave each group of us labels; things like school, home, church, work. He then went to each of the groups and acted like four completely different people as he went to each group. Then, he acted like someone with integrity and went and interacted with each group the same way. It's hard to explain any better than that: simple, but effectively done. I strive to be only one person, that guy "Integrity," and it's tough. I think, now that I'm starting to straighten my life out, it's becoming easier/better, but still. . . it's something I'm always working on.
If people that think there is nothing after death, should we be surprised that they act like life is a party and stress we should be trying to have the "best time" we can? The problem with that line of thinking is that people are generally demonstrating the definiton of selfishness (my gratification, my happiness, my success). To have a vision of eternity, however. . . oh, how life changes! Everyday occurances all of the sudden become significant interactions, and the things we were pursuing seem empty and worthless in comparision to the future we know we are destined to have! The book makes jokes about how we won't just be angels with halos, playing harps on clouds, and I agree, but I tell you what; I bet Heaven will have the BEST orchestras, bands, choruses, jazz combos, world music ensembles, etc.
And with that random hope-
Point to Ponder: There is more to life than just here and now.
This life isn't a means in and of itself. How sad if that were true!
Verse to Remember: I John 2:17- "This world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever." New Living Translation
My study bible says something encouraging about this verse (and way better phrased than I could ever hope to state)-
When the desire for possessions and sinful pleasures feel so intense, we probably doubt that these objects of desire will all one day pass away. It may be even more difficult to believe that the person who does the will of God will live forever. But this was John's conviction based on the facts of Jesus' life, death, resurrection, and promises. Knowing that this evil world will end can give you the courage to deny yourself temporary pleasures in this world in order to enjoy what God has promised for eternity.
Question to Consider: Since I was made to last forever, what is the one thing I should stop doing and the one thing I should start doing today?
I need to stop wasting so much of my free time (whether I'm on the internet, on the Wii, reading fiction, etc. It's not always about what I'm doing as it is how much at a time I am doing said action. . . though I need to begin being pickier about content as well). I need to start sharing the amazing story and love of Christ to everyone else I know, so that they too can enjoy the blessings and relief of knowing where eternity will be spent!
EDIT (1-29): Look at this article. It talks about how the human brain seems naturally wired for religion, even though there is no scientific reason for it (in a nutshell; it's a long article). Did we ever stop to think that it's because THERE IS A GOD???
Anyway, there will be details in each of the next few entries (I'm posting four entries tonight, as individual days, so that it is easier to follow) about the trip, as well as the reflections on each chapter (which may be a little more disjointed than normal, since I didn't write complete entries but something more like notes and lists), so let's get started (because this is going to take a while).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I can appreciate the analogy of our current life being like a dress-rehearsal for the real thing (eternity). If you have ever been involved with any kind of play (musical theater is where 95% of my experience is; the only straight play I was involved with was Arsenic and Old Lace, and I played Teddy. . . great experience, but I am not an actor by any means), then you know what tech week is like: crazy, insane, nothing is going right, people are doing their best (well, most of the time), but in the seat of the director (or music director, in my case) there can often be that frantic "THIS IS GOING TO FALL APART ON OPENING NIGHT" sensation that comes about on those last few dress rehearsals.
But then something amazing happens. The house fills up with people, the actors, musicians, and set crew wait anxiously, the lights dim, the curtain opens. . . and the magic of theater takes over. Things go pretty amazingly ("perfect" if you're lucky), and new and exciting character quirks, acting skills, singing skills (eeeek haha), and so on all of the sudden pop out of the woodwork. Everything comes together in the ways that you wanted them to in rehearsal. If you've been involved with something like that, you understand. I think going to Heaven will be like that, except 10,000x better, because it will be both perfect and beyond our wildest expectations.
We are all born with an inborn instinct for immortality. We don't understand death, and do much to attempt to prevent it, and after it happens, to honor the person who is gone. Often times it just doesn't seem right, especially when it happens to someone close to us. I think of Ian with this; he was what, 15 or 16 when he died? It seems so unfair. And sometimes it's hard to reconcile that; how did that play into God's plan? Unfortunately we don't always get to know the answer; I'm not exactly sure what Ian's death did to further God's will in the world, but I do trust that there was some kind of ripple effect, and that his life and death may have touched someone.
At the very least, it certainly makes you think more about eternity and what's going to happen to you, rather than ignoring the inevitable fact of dying.
One thing I thought about was why God created Earth, if our end is just to choose to go to Heaven or Hell anyway. Why bother with the step inbetween, and just send those who will rebel away, and keep those who will serve, trust, and obey with Him? I don't know that I have a great answer to that question yet, but I believe part of it can be found in the enjoyment there is in simple existence. I'm talking nature, the galaxy, music, math, architecture, whatever it is that gets you all excited! I don't know. Just something to think about.
It's interesting how different the things we give importance to and the things God thinks are important, and what a shift there is in our values and outlook when we finally find our paths leading towards God. Relationships, character, and integrity all of the sudden become the top priorities rather than success, popularity, and creating a archive of achievements. I will never forget Pastor McGee's analogy of integrity: he split up our class (man, I must have been in high school I think) and gave each group of us labels; things like school, home, church, work. He then went to each of the groups and acted like four completely different people as he went to each group. Then, he acted like someone with integrity and went and interacted with each group the same way. It's hard to explain any better than that: simple, but effectively done. I strive to be only one person, that guy "Integrity," and it's tough. I think, now that I'm starting to straighten my life out, it's becoming easier/better, but still. . . it's something I'm always working on.
If people that think there is nothing after death, should we be surprised that they act like life is a party and stress we should be trying to have the "best time" we can? The problem with that line of thinking is that people are generally demonstrating the definiton of selfishness (my gratification, my happiness, my success). To have a vision of eternity, however. . . oh, how life changes! Everyday occurances all of the sudden become significant interactions, and the things we were pursuing seem empty and worthless in comparision to the future we know we are destined to have! The book makes jokes about how we won't just be angels with halos, playing harps on clouds, and I agree, but I tell you what; I bet Heaven will have the BEST orchestras, bands, choruses, jazz combos, world music ensembles, etc.
And with that random hope-
Point to Ponder: There is more to life than just here and now.
This life isn't a means in and of itself. How sad if that were true!
Verse to Remember: I John 2:17- "This world is fading away, along with everything it craves. But if you do the will of God, you will live forever." New Living Translation
My study bible says something encouraging about this verse (and way better phrased than I could ever hope to state)-
When the desire for possessions and sinful pleasures feel so intense, we probably doubt that these objects of desire will all one day pass away. It may be even more difficult to believe that the person who does the will of God will live forever. But this was John's conviction based on the facts of Jesus' life, death, resurrection, and promises. Knowing that this evil world will end can give you the courage to deny yourself temporary pleasures in this world in order to enjoy what God has promised for eternity.
Question to Consider: Since I was made to last forever, what is the one thing I should stop doing and the one thing I should start doing today?
I need to stop wasting so much of my free time (whether I'm on the internet, on the Wii, reading fiction, etc. It's not always about what I'm doing as it is how much at a time I am doing said action. . . though I need to begin being pickier about content as well). I need to start sharing the amazing story and love of Christ to everyone else I know, so that they too can enjoy the blessings and relief of knowing where eternity will be spent!
EDIT (1-29): Look at this article. It talks about how the human brain seems naturally wired for religion, even though there is no scientific reason for it (in a nutshell; it's a long article). Did we ever stop to think that it's because THERE IS A GOD???
Day 5
This was Thursday's reading, and Thursday was kind of a neat day for me, but not because of the clinics or concerts. Those were phenomenal (mostly), and I pulled a lot of philosophical and practical knowledge as well as great encouragement from them, but what I'm going to speak of happened between the last clinic and the evening concerts. I ended up spending a lot of time with God, which was not what I was originally planning, but you know, it was quite nice. I didn't find anyone to go to dinner, so I walked over to a nice restaurant (read: expensive restaurant) and had dinner alone (actually, I found a tasty grilled chicken sandwich with fries for only $10). I had my bag with me, so as I waited for my food to come I pulled out my Bible and began reading (Pslam 107-112, to be exact). I found parts of that to be encouraging and applicable to my life and everything I'm trying to figure out right now. Pslam 108 is especially great.
After dinner (tasty food and great service; I could see myself going there again next year at FMEA), I spent a lot of time just walking up and down the Riverwalk. It was gorgeous; I have pictures, and hopefully I'll put a few up here if I think about it later. It was really nice just to soak in the beauty of God's craftsmanship, both in nature and in architecture (sometimes, I feel like people curse buildings as being "made by the hand of man, not God." Don't you think God had something to do with buildings, arcitectures, bridges, structures, and so on? I do, and I will not feel guilty for admiring their beauty). I also found myself doing a lot of thinking (as I often do on nightwalks) and found myself humming and singing songs. When I stopped to think about what I was singing, it was "Home" and "A Change in Me" from Beauty and the Beast. If you aren't familiar with those songs, look them up on YouTube; they're from the Broadway musical, and both are quite good in my opinion (much better than Maurice's song, or anything the Beast sings). I've been trying to reconcile the idea of where my "home" is. I can call South Haven home, since that's where I was born and spent most of my life, but truthfully my only friends there are the small handful from high school that also went to WMU and my OTP friends. I can call Kalamazoo and WMU my home, as I spent four years pouring my blood, sweat, and tears into my degree, and there are so many people I know and love there. And now I'm in Florida, and I am really loving the area I live in (DeLand, if you didn't know). There are some great people and amazing things happening that I would have never imagined a year ago, nor even a few months ago as I was moving down here. And I feel like God is calling me to do. . . something. But I don't know what it is. I don't know if I'm meant to stay down here for a little while, a long while, or the rest of my life (I don't expect to know that, though). I don't know if I'll be teaching at Taylor for my whole career, or if this is just the first step in an adventure that will take me to places unknown. But I feel like there's something I should be doing. Whether it's personal, or professional, or both, I'm still trying to figure out. I'm trying to listen, and Thursday evening was a good first step. I just wish I always had 2-3 hours to just wander around and think about things on demand. Guess you gotta take those opportunities when they come up.
Anyway, onto the book.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another interesting quote opens this chapter, this time from Anaïs Nin:
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
Perspective influences EVERYTHING. Great example from this weekend- a trolley (ie bigger than Kalamazoo buses) made a right turn and nearly took the headlight off of a car in the left turn lane. At least, that's what it looked like to me and Craig. But we were at a slight angle because of the shape of the road, so for all we know, it wasn't as close a call at it seemed to us. So, depending on where we stand, whether it be on the west side of the street or extremely Democratic (as in, taking a stand?), we see things in a different light.
I don't know about you, but I want to look at everything through the light of eternity (from the last chapter).
The beginning of the chapter talked about our "life metaphor." I know my life was a "whirlwind" when I accepted the job and moved down here; so much was happening so fast and my head was spinning. Things have calmed down now, of course. Still. . . this metaphor we hold in our head has a great impact on our way of living. In college, the best way I could think of to describe my schedule was that each of my engagements (accompanying, school work, Broncoband, friends, family, etc.) was like an inverted pyramid (as in a 3-D object) about my height. It was my job to scramble around and keep the pyramids from crashing to the floor, but it was really hard because it only had that very small point to balance on. And sometimes, pyramids fell, and broke, and I had to balance everything else before I could even start to pick up the pieces, or I'd end up with an even bigger mess on my hands. I am so glad not to feel like that anymore. Granted, I did it to myself, but man. . . I don't know how I got through that.
Testing is almost constant. But so are the ways to get through or get out of those situations, if we keep our eyes and minds and hearts open. I've found that to be true about my life since the move at least (and if I had paid attention, probably before as well).
Without further ado-
Point to Ponder: Life is a test and a trust.
Having this perspective gives a different flavor to everything that we do. It's also a good reminder that in the end, it really isn't about us at all.
Verse to Remember: Luke 16:10a- "Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones." New Living Translation
I feel that everyone agrees with the principle this verse says. Someone lies to you. Aren't you cautious about what they say to you the next time you interact with them? You have a bad experience at a restaurant with the food. It's likely you won't go back to that place, or if you do, you won't order the same food, because you can't trust it to turn out well. Therefore, if you turn it around, why would anyone give you more responsibilities if you can't even handle doing the things you are currently doing? It's like having a bad credit score; no one will take a chance on you until you can prove you can be trusted.
Another good note from my Study Bible- Our integrity often meets its match in money matters. God calls us to be honest even in small details we could easily rationalize away. Heaven's riches are far more valuable than earthly wealth. But if we are not trustworthy with our money here (no matter how much or little we have) we will be unfit to handle the vast riches of God's kingdom. Don't let your integrity slip in small matters, and it will not fail you in crucial decisions.
Question to Consider: What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?
The most recent thing that wasn't obviously a test (like when I was flipping through the channels on the TV at my hotel and passed a very inappropriate show on HBO. . . I'm really OK with not having cable) was probably the sudden time I had on my hands Wednesday morning. Craig was running a little late, and I had already powered down my computer and wasn't really in the mood for video games. There were a number of things I could have done, productive or unproductive, but I wasn't really in much of a mood to do anything except mess around on the internet. So, I powered up my Wii and got on the internet channel. Then, an interesting and unexpected thing happened; I went onto YouTube, and instead of looking up random videos, I searched for worship songs. I'm not sure what prompted me to do that, but I ended up spending probably 45 minutes singing along to different songs and worshipping God, and it was pretty awesome. Actually, it was VERY awesome. I wish I had the motivation to wake up early each morning (well, and the schedule; sometimes my nights just take me into the "late" hours for teachers, meaning 11 or 12 PM), because how awesome would that be to do before showering, making tea, and heading off to school? Granted, I sing along with Z Radio sometimes (I ought to have all their songs memorized by now) but I'm also driving, and it's generally not me being focused on God but just singing along on the surface as I think about what the school day has in store for me.
As far as what I have been entrusted with, the things I came up with were: new and old friendships, and finding my place(s) to serve at SBC.
OK, I need to go work-out now (otherwise I won't tonight, and I need to get back into/stay in the habit). I'll be back for days 6 and 7 in a little while.
After dinner (tasty food and great service; I could see myself going there again next year at FMEA), I spent a lot of time just walking up and down the Riverwalk. It was gorgeous; I have pictures, and hopefully I'll put a few up here if I think about it later. It was really nice just to soak in the beauty of God's craftsmanship, both in nature and in architecture (sometimes, I feel like people curse buildings as being "made by the hand of man, not God." Don't you think God had something to do with buildings, arcitectures, bridges, structures, and so on? I do, and I will not feel guilty for admiring their beauty). I also found myself doing a lot of thinking (as I often do on nightwalks) and found myself humming and singing songs. When I stopped to think about what I was singing, it was "Home" and "A Change in Me" from Beauty and the Beast. If you aren't familiar with those songs, look them up on YouTube; they're from the Broadway musical, and both are quite good in my opinion (much better than Maurice's song, or anything the Beast sings). I've been trying to reconcile the idea of where my "home" is. I can call South Haven home, since that's where I was born and spent most of my life, but truthfully my only friends there are the small handful from high school that also went to WMU and my OTP friends. I can call Kalamazoo and WMU my home, as I spent four years pouring my blood, sweat, and tears into my degree, and there are so many people I know and love there. And now I'm in Florida, and I am really loving the area I live in (DeLand, if you didn't know). There are some great people and amazing things happening that I would have never imagined a year ago, nor even a few months ago as I was moving down here. And I feel like God is calling me to do. . . something. But I don't know what it is. I don't know if I'm meant to stay down here for a little while, a long while, or the rest of my life (I don't expect to know that, though). I don't know if I'll be teaching at Taylor for my whole career, or if this is just the first step in an adventure that will take me to places unknown. But I feel like there's something I should be doing. Whether it's personal, or professional, or both, I'm still trying to figure out. I'm trying to listen, and Thursday evening was a good first step. I just wish I always had 2-3 hours to just wander around and think about things on demand. Guess you gotta take those opportunities when they come up.
Anyway, onto the book.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Another interesting quote opens this chapter, this time from Anaïs Nin:
We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.
Perspective influences EVERYTHING. Great example from this weekend- a trolley (ie bigger than Kalamazoo buses) made a right turn and nearly took the headlight off of a car in the left turn lane. At least, that's what it looked like to me and Craig. But we were at a slight angle because of the shape of the road, so for all we know, it wasn't as close a call at it seemed to us. So, depending on where we stand, whether it be on the west side of the street or extremely Democratic (as in, taking a stand?), we see things in a different light.
I don't know about you, but I want to look at everything through the light of eternity (from the last chapter).
The beginning of the chapter talked about our "life metaphor." I know my life was a "whirlwind" when I accepted the job and moved down here; so much was happening so fast and my head was spinning. Things have calmed down now, of course. Still. . . this metaphor we hold in our head has a great impact on our way of living. In college, the best way I could think of to describe my schedule was that each of my engagements (accompanying, school work, Broncoband, friends, family, etc.) was like an inverted pyramid (as in a 3-D object) about my height. It was my job to scramble around and keep the pyramids from crashing to the floor, but it was really hard because it only had that very small point to balance on. And sometimes, pyramids fell, and broke, and I had to balance everything else before I could even start to pick up the pieces, or I'd end up with an even bigger mess on my hands. I am so glad not to feel like that anymore. Granted, I did it to myself, but man. . . I don't know how I got through that.
Testing is almost constant. But so are the ways to get through or get out of those situations, if we keep our eyes and minds and hearts open. I've found that to be true about my life since the move at least (and if I had paid attention, probably before as well).
Without further ado-
Point to Ponder: Life is a test and a trust.
Having this perspective gives a different flavor to everything that we do. It's also a good reminder that in the end, it really isn't about us at all.
Verse to Remember: Luke 16:10a- "Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won't be faithful in large ones." New Living Translation
I feel that everyone agrees with the principle this verse says. Someone lies to you. Aren't you cautious about what they say to you the next time you interact with them? You have a bad experience at a restaurant with the food. It's likely you won't go back to that place, or if you do, you won't order the same food, because you can't trust it to turn out well. Therefore, if you turn it around, why would anyone give you more responsibilities if you can't even handle doing the things you are currently doing? It's like having a bad credit score; no one will take a chance on you until you can prove you can be trusted.
Another good note from my Study Bible- Our integrity often meets its match in money matters. God calls us to be honest even in small details we could easily rationalize away. Heaven's riches are far more valuable than earthly wealth. But if we are not trustworthy with our money here (no matter how much or little we have) we will be unfit to handle the vast riches of God's kingdom. Don't let your integrity slip in small matters, and it will not fail you in crucial decisions.
Question to Consider: What has happened to me recently that I now realize was a test from God? What are the greatest matters God has entrusted to me?
The most recent thing that wasn't obviously a test (like when I was flipping through the channels on the TV at my hotel and passed a very inappropriate show on HBO. . . I'm really OK with not having cable) was probably the sudden time I had on my hands Wednesday morning. Craig was running a little late, and I had already powered down my computer and wasn't really in the mood for video games. There were a number of things I could have done, productive or unproductive, but I wasn't really in much of a mood to do anything except mess around on the internet. So, I powered up my Wii and got on the internet channel. Then, an interesting and unexpected thing happened; I went onto YouTube, and instead of looking up random videos, I searched for worship songs. I'm not sure what prompted me to do that, but I ended up spending probably 45 minutes singing along to different songs and worshipping God, and it was pretty awesome. Actually, it was VERY awesome. I wish I had the motivation to wake up early each morning (well, and the schedule; sometimes my nights just take me into the "late" hours for teachers, meaning 11 or 12 PM), because how awesome would that be to do before showering, making tea, and heading off to school? Granted, I sing along with Z Radio sometimes (I ought to have all their songs memorized by now) but I'm also driving, and it's generally not me being focused on God but just singing along on the surface as I think about what the school day has in store for me.
As far as what I have been entrusted with, the things I came up with were: new and old friendships, and finding my place(s) to serve at SBC.
OK, I need to go work-out now (otherwise I won't tonight, and I need to get back into/stay in the habit). I'll be back for days 6 and 7 in a little while.
Day 6
It makes me a little sad that I didn't bother to work out at all while I was home on Christmas break. Granted, it's easier when I have WiiFit right there (especially since there was no way I was going to go for a walk outside in MI winter weather). It just got me out of the habit, so now I'm building back the physical and mental endurance I had developed before. Yes, even 2 weeks makes a big difference. I did attempt to do something at the conference (Thursday night, as you read in the last entry, and then Friday morning I got to the convention center early and walked around for about a half hour before my first clinic). And working out this late at night is never much fun, especially when you know you have lots of things to do (like update a blog, write a final exam, grade papers, make decisions about how to invest retirement money. . . it amazes me how much I sound like an adult sometimes).
So, I'm almost caught up. Let's continue, because I'm excited to get to the reading for tonight (I haven't done it yet).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The chapter opens up with a list of metaphors the Bible uses to describe the span of a man's life in comparison with eternity. I think it's always good to keep the eternal perspective in mind. . . yet how can we even fathom it? I can barely think about time as it is happening. Look at my life a year ago: I was interning at Lakeshore High School, applying to Teach for America, everything falling apart and crashing around me. . . and now here I am in central Florida, teaching at a small school (by Florida standards. . . it's like a normal Michigan school), and putting my life back together.
I love the idea of having a spiritual green card. I am seriously considering making one from construction paper and putting it in my wallet as a reminder. It's strange to think that we are strangers in the world. I think we have to realize that the Earth was created for us, not the other way around. God didn't make man, then think about the habitat and way of living. He created everything else first, got it all set, THEN brought man into the scene. We were created for Heaven; Earth is just the stop on the way there (well, assuming we make the choice to follow that path). Another good analogy is thinking of Earth as an apartment. We don't own it, but we take care of it because we know someone else is going to be using it after us. However, we are always looking to our future home, and in our case someone is taking care of all the preparations; we're just waiting for the move out date.
I also love the thought that "We are Christ's ambassadors.". We need to be sure we are not falling into the world's patterns of doing things. The problem is that the world makes it so easy to do EVERYTHING: even if you think only of the medium of the internet, there are so many amazingly good and horrendously bad things we can choose to explore there. So that's great for some things (evangelizing, missions work, maybe prayer or "fellowship" though human interaction can never be replaced by anything digital) and bad for a lot of other things (laziness, instant and easy access to inappropriate sites, stalking, and so on). We have to be careful. Yes, we have to live here temporarily, but we need to keep in mind the King's mission and purpose and not become too comfortable and begin to prefer this foreign nation.
I think everyone experiences the gaps that the world can't fill. . . this can't be the end of the story, can it? Unfulfilled dreams, bad relationships, persecution, disappointments. . . even people who are the most successful and popular by the world's standards have felt this way. But, what a novel idea: maybe we will never be happy here! At least, not in that complete everything-makes-sense way. We aren't home yet!
Now, go back and read Thursday's entry. See any "coincidences" in there?
Wait a second. . . "we aren't home yet."
No questions have been answered for me yet, but maybe this book will reveal some more information to me as I go along. Almost done-
Point to Ponder: This world is not my home.
This serves as a reminder and warning that we should not become too attached to this world and the things it holds important. How does this related to my question of feeling called to do something? I'm not sure, but I feel I may make a connection sometime soon.
Verse to Remember: 2 Corinthians 4:18- "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." New International Version
It's hard to focus on the "unseen" because the rewards of them are also "unseen." It's like the classic definition of character.
Question to Consider: How should the fact that life on earth is just a temporary assignment change the way I am living right now?
Well, it already has been, and I will continue to work on making it better. I now study the Bible, attend church regularly, spend time in prayer, fellowship with other believers, attempt to be open and share my faith, try to listen to God more and figure out (and then do) His will. Basically I'm getting myself away from time wasters and spending more time getting closer to God.
So, I'm almost caught up. Let's continue, because I'm excited to get to the reading for tonight (I haven't done it yet).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The chapter opens up with a list of metaphors the Bible uses to describe the span of a man's life in comparison with eternity. I think it's always good to keep the eternal perspective in mind. . . yet how can we even fathom it? I can barely think about time as it is happening. Look at my life a year ago: I was interning at Lakeshore High School, applying to Teach for America, everything falling apart and crashing around me. . . and now here I am in central Florida, teaching at a small school (by Florida standards. . . it's like a normal Michigan school), and putting my life back together.
I love the idea of having a spiritual green card. I am seriously considering making one from construction paper and putting it in my wallet as a reminder. It's strange to think that we are strangers in the world. I think we have to realize that the Earth was created for us, not the other way around. God didn't make man, then think about the habitat and way of living. He created everything else first, got it all set, THEN brought man into the scene. We were created for Heaven; Earth is just the stop on the way there (well, assuming we make the choice to follow that path). Another good analogy is thinking of Earth as an apartment. We don't own it, but we take care of it because we know someone else is going to be using it after us. However, we are always looking to our future home, and in our case someone is taking care of all the preparations; we're just waiting for the move out date.
I also love the thought that "We are Christ's ambassadors.". We need to be sure we are not falling into the world's patterns of doing things. The problem is that the world makes it so easy to do EVERYTHING: even if you think only of the medium of the internet, there are so many amazingly good and horrendously bad things we can choose to explore there. So that's great for some things (evangelizing, missions work, maybe prayer or "fellowship" though human interaction can never be replaced by anything digital) and bad for a lot of other things (laziness, instant and easy access to inappropriate sites, stalking, and so on). We have to be careful. Yes, we have to live here temporarily, but we need to keep in mind the King's mission and purpose and not become too comfortable and begin to prefer this foreign nation.
I think everyone experiences the gaps that the world can't fill. . . this can't be the end of the story, can it? Unfulfilled dreams, bad relationships, persecution, disappointments. . . even people who are the most successful and popular by the world's standards have felt this way. But, what a novel idea: maybe we will never be happy here! At least, not in that complete everything-makes-sense way. We aren't home yet!
Now, go back and read Thursday's entry. See any "coincidences" in there?
Wait a second. . . "we aren't home yet."
No questions have been answered for me yet, but maybe this book will reveal some more information to me as I go along. Almost done-
Point to Ponder: This world is not my home.
This serves as a reminder and warning that we should not become too attached to this world and the things it holds important. How does this related to my question of feeling called to do something? I'm not sure, but I feel I may make a connection sometime soon.
Verse to Remember: 2 Corinthians 4:18- "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." New International Version
It's hard to focus on the "unseen" because the rewards of them are also "unseen." It's like the classic definition of character.
Question to Consider: How should the fact that life on earth is just a temporary assignment change the way I am living right now?
Well, it already has been, and I will continue to work on making it better. I now study the Bible, attend church regularly, spend time in prayer, fellowship with other believers, attempt to be open and share my faith, try to listen to God more and figure out (and then do) His will. Basically I'm getting myself away from time wasters and spending more time getting closer to God.
Day 7
One last comment about the conference. I was a little bit appaled by some of the younger directors there. Sure, they looked nice, more dressed up than I with their suits and blazers and ties (while I was wearing nice pants/khakis and button up striped shirts). But one guy leaned over to me this morning and said "I'm here because I feel like I should have come to more things. This is only my 3rd or 4th clinic." Yeah. . . and this was Saturday morning. I don't know what he (and others, I'm sure) were doing the rest of the weekend, but it was just like. . . really? Or the older guys (like, 40s I would guess) talking about how hilarious it was that a mile marker said "MILF" because the bottom of the capital "E" had been scraped off.
Yeah guys. Real mature.
I truly hope these guys are anomolies in the system. . . but I'm not too sure about that.
Anyway, the conference was great for me. My job doesn't feel as impossible, so that's kind of nice. I'm actually excited for Monday! Well. . . sans 8th grade. . . but I only have them for 5 more days! So I guess that is exciting :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Glory" is one of those words that I don't think we always take the time to define or truly understand. Other words like that are sanctify, worship, born again, even love. I like what this chapter has to say: "It is who God is. It is the essence of his nature, the weight of his importance, the radiance of his splendor, the demonstration of his power, and the atmosphere of his presence. God's glory is in the expression of this goodness and all his other intrisic, eternal qualities." We see it in ourselves and the world around us: God is the master painter, musician, sculptor, horticulturist, doctor, etc. The Bible talks about different places/times where He reveals His glory (the Garden of Eden, Moses, in the tabernacle, through Jesus, to the disciples).
We can't add to his glory, but there are things we can to do bring glory to Him. And apparently this is what the rest of the book is about. There are 5 main topics (probably the themes for each of the next 5 weeks), so here we go with another way to organize my thoughts!
First, we bring Him glory by worshiping him. This doesn't mean coming to church on Sunday and singing songs. I love this: "We worship God by enjoying him. God want sout worship to be motivated by love, thanksgiving, and delight, NOT duty." I added the emphasis. Worship is a way of life (which is just what Pastor Dan was saying last week. . . and that might be the topic of tomorrow's sermon. . . "coincidence"?)
Second, we can bring glory by loving other believers. So this book might help me with that whole "love" issue? That's pretty exciting.
Third is our pursuit to become more Christlike. It seems obvious, but some people, like I, don't ever bother to go past those first couple steps in sanctification. They remain spiritual infants. I like growing up and maturing in Christ much better.
Fourth, we bring God glory by serving others with our gifts. I am so thankful everyday for the God-given passion for music and the physical skill on the piano (and percussion. . . and flute too I suppose, though I won't perform publically on the flute). But I think one thing I need to do is look deeper inside and see what I can bring to the table (specifially at Stetson Baptist) beyond the music. That's the easy part for me. Now, it's not that I think you have to do something difficult to serve, but I'm 21 and single. Even with being a 1st year teacher, I have time and potential to do more than play in the orchestra, occasinally fill in as pianist, and (potentially) sing in the choir. Maybe this will answer that question that's been burning in me since Thursday.
Finally, we glorify the Lord by telling others about Him. That seems like the most obvious and should be the easiest thing we can do. And what an opportunity for God to allow us to be involved in the process of bringing people to Him! He could just zap into our brains and say, "Look, I created gravity and the Grand Canyon and even the duck-billed platypus. Believe in Me." Instead, He uses believers to spread His word and His love. What an opportunity!
I know this isn't going to be the easiest way to live all the time, but it's the best way (and the only way really). I'm so excited to continue to explore this book. I've already decided to give my life over to Him; I think this book will help me in figuring out exactly how to do that.
So, one week down. . . almost-
Point to Ponder: It's all for him.
Enough said. Four simple words mean SO much. . .
Verse to Remember: Romans 11:36 b- "For everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by his power, and everything is for his glory." Living Bible
Have I mentioned that I love Romans?
Question to Consider: Where in my daily routine can I become more aware of God's glory?
I think a big part is in my music choices. Now, in the car it's not a problem, because my dial never leaves Z Radio (yes, even with it's 20 or so songs, it is "Safe for the Little Ears." Sometime I'll get into the absurdity of "adult content," but not tonight, because I'm tired). When I get home, often I'll stream Z Radio. But sometimes I'll listen to other things, either online or from my personal library. Now, I have a place in my heart for most musical theater, and while some of it is fantastic music, the lyrics and/or topic matters are not always glorifying to God. In fact, what I'm listening to now I shouldn't be. . .
Fixed.
Now I just have to do that all the time. . .
Well, that's one "theme" down. I think tomorrow after church I'll do a post with the "discussion questions" from the back of the book (as well as Day 8 later in the evening, of course). I'm playing in the SBC orchestra tomorrow, so I had better get to bed.
So glad to be caught up!
Yeah guys. Real mature.
I truly hope these guys are anomolies in the system. . . but I'm not too sure about that.
Anyway, the conference was great for me. My job doesn't feel as impossible, so that's kind of nice. I'm actually excited for Monday! Well. . . sans 8th grade. . . but I only have them for 5 more days! So I guess that is exciting :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Glory" is one of those words that I don't think we always take the time to define or truly understand. Other words like that are sanctify, worship, born again, even love. I like what this chapter has to say: "It is who God is. It is the essence of his nature, the weight of his importance, the radiance of his splendor, the demonstration of his power, and the atmosphere of his presence. God's glory is in the expression of this goodness and all his other intrisic, eternal qualities." We see it in ourselves and the world around us: God is the master painter, musician, sculptor, horticulturist, doctor, etc. The Bible talks about different places/times where He reveals His glory (the Garden of Eden, Moses, in the tabernacle, through Jesus, to the disciples).
We can't add to his glory, but there are things we can to do bring glory to Him. And apparently this is what the rest of the book is about. There are 5 main topics (probably the themes for each of the next 5 weeks), so here we go with another way to organize my thoughts!
First, we bring Him glory by worshiping him. This doesn't mean coming to church on Sunday and singing songs. I love this: "We worship God by enjoying him. God want sout worship to be motivated by love, thanksgiving, and delight, NOT duty." I added the emphasis. Worship is a way of life (which is just what Pastor Dan was saying last week. . . and that might be the topic of tomorrow's sermon. . . "coincidence"?)
Second, we can bring glory by loving other believers. So this book might help me with that whole "love" issue? That's pretty exciting.
Third is our pursuit to become more Christlike. It seems obvious, but some people, like I, don't ever bother to go past those first couple steps in sanctification. They remain spiritual infants. I like growing up and maturing in Christ much better.
Fourth, we bring God glory by serving others with our gifts. I am so thankful everyday for the God-given passion for music and the physical skill on the piano (and percussion. . . and flute too I suppose, though I won't perform publically on the flute). But I think one thing I need to do is look deeper inside and see what I can bring to the table (specifially at Stetson Baptist) beyond the music. That's the easy part for me. Now, it's not that I think you have to do something difficult to serve, but I'm 21 and single. Even with being a 1st year teacher, I have time and potential to do more than play in the orchestra, occasinally fill in as pianist, and (potentially) sing in the choir. Maybe this will answer that question that's been burning in me since Thursday.
Finally, we glorify the Lord by telling others about Him. That seems like the most obvious and should be the easiest thing we can do. And what an opportunity for God to allow us to be involved in the process of bringing people to Him! He could just zap into our brains and say, "Look, I created gravity and the Grand Canyon and even the duck-billed platypus. Believe in Me." Instead, He uses believers to spread His word and His love. What an opportunity!
I know this isn't going to be the easiest way to live all the time, but it's the best way (and the only way really). I'm so excited to continue to explore this book. I've already decided to give my life over to Him; I think this book will help me in figuring out exactly how to do that.
So, one week down. . . almost-
Point to Ponder: It's all for him.
Enough said. Four simple words mean SO much. . .
Verse to Remember: Romans 11:36 b- "For everything comes from God alone. Everything lives by his power, and everything is for his glory." Living Bible
Have I mentioned that I love Romans?
Question to Consider: Where in my daily routine can I become more aware of God's glory?
I think a big part is in my music choices. Now, in the car it's not a problem, because my dial never leaves Z Radio (yes, even with it's 20 or so songs, it is "Safe for the Little Ears." Sometime I'll get into the absurdity of "adult content," but not tonight, because I'm tired). When I get home, often I'll stream Z Radio. But sometimes I'll listen to other things, either online or from my personal library. Now, I have a place in my heart for most musical theater, and while some of it is fantastic music, the lyrics and/or topic matters are not always glorifying to God. In fact, what I'm listening to now I shouldn't be. . .
Fixed.
Now I just have to do that all the time. . .
Well, that's one "theme" down. I think tomorrow after church I'll do a post with the "discussion questions" from the back of the book (as well as Day 8 later in the evening, of course). I'm playing in the SBC orchestra tomorrow, so I had better get to bed.
So glad to be caught up!
Day 8
Tonight's message was about why people did what Nehemiah said (Pastor Dan has been leading a series of messages on the book of Nehemiah and applying it to the future of SBC. . . very interesting stuff. I've been taking it on a couple different levels, with my job and my personal life). The answer? Moral authority (in a nutshell, it is when someone does what they say they believe. It requires character (an interesting addition to the definition I always think of: it's doing the same thing when no one is watching or when EVERYONE is watching. I like it) and sacrifice, and it is what makes vision work).
In my position as a (future) band director (and potentially a choir director), this is actually quite applicable. I mean, look at the best school performing arts programs: the students are responsible, well-behaved, and form this amazingly cohesive unit under the direction of one person. Why? Because they have moral authority. That's one of the things I admired about my mentor in my internship, and now I have words and a definition to be able to describe it to someone else. Good stuff.
Alright, starting a new theme, a.k.a. Purpose #1: You Were Planned for God's Pleasure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think, not just for the purpose of tonight but for the rest of this journey, it's important to bring this point up that the book points out: God did not need to create us, but he chose to. Why? Well, think about it. Why do we play with toys like Play-Do, Legos, blocks, Lincoln Logs, action figures and dolls, stuffed animals, cars, and so on? We like to make believe stories, lives, worlds with these things. FOR OUR ENJOYMENT. No one forced God's hand in our creation. He wanted beings other than Himself that He could interact with, teach, and most importantly, love. I think everyone has at least one childhood toy that they loved when they were younger. I had a stegosaurus that I got when I was probably 4 or 5. And I took it with me everywhere. It was part of all my adventures, whether I was make-believing killing zombie hordes with my cousin (yeah. . . it's true) or playing with toys at our house or whatever. I still have it in my room back in the mitten. How AWESOME if that little dinosaur were actually alive! And had it's own personality and interests and voice. . . I don't know that anyone would turn down a toy like that.
I have to quote the book because it's so great: "When you fully understand this truth (bringing enjoyment to God is out first purpose), you will never again have a problem with feeling insignificant. It proves your worth. If you are that important to God, and he considers you valuable enough to keep with him for eternity, what greater significance could you have?" I know I have dealt with feeling insignificant (and again, who hasn't?), so this is a great point. And the next point ties in so intuitively: God gave us the five senses so that we, too, could enjoy life! Too often I think we forget that God has emotions, but as you look through the Bible, we see that He becomes sad, angry, jealous, feels pity, delights, "and even laughs!" as the book exclaims (or the Book; either way :-p). What a gift, to be able to smell the richness of the air, taste the combinations of flavor in a well done dinner, soak in the lights and colors of beautiful sights, become enraptured while listening to moving music, draw comfort from touch!
Here's something new to me that I really like (and wish someone had explained in this way to me before): worship is bringing pleasure to God. No one has ever explained it that way (and in so simple terms) that's it's just kind of like, "Duh!" Worship isn't just what we do on Sunday, but what we do everyday. Worship is a lifestyle. Everyday, everywhere, all the time. . . OK, OK, that's all great, but what does that mean? Well, apparently it's as easy as living a life that brings pleasure to God. Pastor Dan has started a morning series about worship, and today he gave us four things we can do to "get worship," as he says. It was quite encouraging for me to hear, as I have been working on these things since I moved (I'm not trying to paint a picture that that makes me amazing or anything, but it's nice to know I've been on the right path and that I need to continue doing what I've started): 1-give your life (your ENTIRE life, not just the easy stuff, but the things that we don't want ANYONE to touch. Say "Yes" to everything He asks you) to Jesus, 2)Spend time in God's Word (whatever can be afforded, although in my opinion it's not about affording time but making it. Of course, I'm also a time-making Nazi when it comes to fitting in whatever is important to me- ask me about my last two semesters on campus if you don't believe me), 3)Sing! (we'll get to music in a second, as the book devotes a good chunk of the chapter on it), and 4)Begin to see the hand of God in everything.
Worship is not just about singing. I know the first time I heard that and believed it was at SBC. Reggie (the music minister) said that, and followed it by "We don't worship because life is good. We worship because GOD is good." And now that I have a concrete definition of worship, those statements make so much more sense. We don't worship for ourselves, but for God. And I like the statement that there is no "Christian music", only Christian lyrics. For me, that frees me to be able to play anything (Mozart, Brahms, Chaminade, whatever) without feeling like it can't glorify God. If I think music is powerful or enjoyable, then the way I approach it and perform it has more to do with it's part in my daily worship rather than anything inherent in the music. And that's kind of cool to think about.
I also like the practical approach to worship found here. We can do everything like we are doing it for Jesus, even as much as having a conversation with Him as we do it! It's so easy to see now. That's what abiding in His love is all about.
Point to Ponder: I was planned for God's pleasure.
Not accidentally happened upon, but planned for it. What a responsibility, but what an opportunity! We spend a lot of time trying to please other people or to please ourselves. . . but how different the approach (and the quality) of life when we start trying to please God.
Verse to Remember: Pslam 149:4a- "The Lord takes pleasure in his people." Today's English Version
The Psalms are so great, because they are the praise songs of the Old Testament. This Psalm is especially great, because it tells us to sing a new song, rejoice, dance, play instruments, and be glad, BECAUSE He takes pleasure in us! How special we must be.
Question to Consider: What common task could I start doing as if I were doing it directly for Jesus?
I don't mean for this to sound trite, but I hate putting away laundry. And the dishes. It's not the process of cleaning them (I mean, washer/dryer is pretty simple, and I don't mind handwashing dishes) but the having to put them away after they are dry (and especially to fold the laundry). So many steps! Sometimes I have a bad attitude about doing either or both of those tasks, which sometimes means I put them off for a while because I know I'm going to have to put the things away later (in fact, there's a dishwasher full of clean dishes and a pile of dirty laundry right now). So, I'm going to start putting away my dishes and clothes for Jesus, and not just slop things around, but fold my clothes nicely and arrange my dishes so that they aren't stacked precariously and fall when I open drawers.
In my position as a (future) band director (and potentially a choir director), this is actually quite applicable. I mean, look at the best school performing arts programs: the students are responsible, well-behaved, and form this amazingly cohesive unit under the direction of one person. Why? Because they have moral authority. That's one of the things I admired about my mentor in my internship, and now I have words and a definition to be able to describe it to someone else. Good stuff.
Alright, starting a new theme, a.k.a. Purpose #1: You Were Planned for God's Pleasure.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think, not just for the purpose of tonight but for the rest of this journey, it's important to bring this point up that the book points out: God did not need to create us, but he chose to. Why? Well, think about it. Why do we play with toys like Play-Do, Legos, blocks, Lincoln Logs, action figures and dolls, stuffed animals, cars, and so on? We like to make believe stories, lives, worlds with these things. FOR OUR ENJOYMENT. No one forced God's hand in our creation. He wanted beings other than Himself that He could interact with, teach, and most importantly, love. I think everyone has at least one childhood toy that they loved when they were younger. I had a stegosaurus that I got when I was probably 4 or 5. And I took it with me everywhere. It was part of all my adventures, whether I was make-believing killing zombie hordes with my cousin (yeah. . . it's true) or playing with toys at our house or whatever. I still have it in my room back in the mitten. How AWESOME if that little dinosaur were actually alive! And had it's own personality and interests and voice. . . I don't know that anyone would turn down a toy like that.
I have to quote the book because it's so great: "When you fully understand this truth (bringing enjoyment to God is out first purpose), you will never again have a problem with feeling insignificant. It proves your worth. If you are that important to God, and he considers you valuable enough to keep with him for eternity, what greater significance could you have?" I know I have dealt with feeling insignificant (and again, who hasn't?), so this is a great point. And the next point ties in so intuitively: God gave us the five senses so that we, too, could enjoy life! Too often I think we forget that God has emotions, but as you look through the Bible, we see that He becomes sad, angry, jealous, feels pity, delights, "and even laughs!" as the book exclaims (or the Book; either way :-p). What a gift, to be able to smell the richness of the air, taste the combinations of flavor in a well done dinner, soak in the lights and colors of beautiful sights, become enraptured while listening to moving music, draw comfort from touch!
Here's something new to me that I really like (and wish someone had explained in this way to me before): worship is bringing pleasure to God. No one has ever explained it that way (and in so simple terms) that's it's just kind of like, "Duh!" Worship isn't just what we do on Sunday, but what we do everyday. Worship is a lifestyle. Everyday, everywhere, all the time. . . OK, OK, that's all great, but what does that mean? Well, apparently it's as easy as living a life that brings pleasure to God. Pastor Dan has started a morning series about worship, and today he gave us four things we can do to "get worship," as he says. It was quite encouraging for me to hear, as I have been working on these things since I moved (I'm not trying to paint a picture that that makes me amazing or anything, but it's nice to know I've been on the right path and that I need to continue doing what I've started): 1-give your life (your ENTIRE life, not just the easy stuff, but the things that we don't want ANYONE to touch. Say "Yes" to everything He asks you) to Jesus, 2)Spend time in God's Word (whatever can be afforded, although in my opinion it's not about affording time but making it. Of course, I'm also a time-making Nazi when it comes to fitting in whatever is important to me- ask me about my last two semesters on campus if you don't believe me), 3)Sing! (we'll get to music in a second, as the book devotes a good chunk of the chapter on it), and 4)Begin to see the hand of God in everything.
Worship is not just about singing. I know the first time I heard that and believed it was at SBC. Reggie (the music minister) said that, and followed it by "We don't worship because life is good. We worship because GOD is good." And now that I have a concrete definition of worship, those statements make so much more sense. We don't worship for ourselves, but for God. And I like the statement that there is no "Christian music", only Christian lyrics. For me, that frees me to be able to play anything (Mozart, Brahms, Chaminade, whatever) without feeling like it can't glorify God. If I think music is powerful or enjoyable, then the way I approach it and perform it has more to do with it's part in my daily worship rather than anything inherent in the music. And that's kind of cool to think about.
I also like the practical approach to worship found here. We can do everything like we are doing it for Jesus, even as much as having a conversation with Him as we do it! It's so easy to see now. That's what abiding in His love is all about.
Point to Ponder: I was planned for God's pleasure.
Not accidentally happened upon, but planned for it. What a responsibility, but what an opportunity! We spend a lot of time trying to please other people or to please ourselves. . . but how different the approach (and the quality) of life when we start trying to please God.
Verse to Remember: Pslam 149:4a- "The Lord takes pleasure in his people." Today's English Version
The Psalms are so great, because they are the praise songs of the Old Testament. This Psalm is especially great, because it tells us to sing a new song, rejoice, dance, play instruments, and be glad, BECAUSE He takes pleasure in us! How special we must be.
Question to Consider: What common task could I start doing as if I were doing it directly for Jesus?
I don't mean for this to sound trite, but I hate putting away laundry. And the dishes. It's not the process of cleaning them (I mean, washer/dryer is pretty simple, and I don't mind handwashing dishes) but the having to put them away after they are dry (and especially to fold the laundry). So many steps! Sometimes I have a bad attitude about doing either or both of those tasks, which sometimes means I put them off for a while because I know I'm going to have to put the things away later (in fact, there's a dishwasher full of clean dishes and a pile of dirty laundry right now). So, I'm going to start putting away my dishes and clothes for Jesus, and not just slop things around, but fold my clothes nicely and arrange my dishes so that they aren't stacked precariously and fall when I open drawers.
Day 9
Something kind of amazing happened at school today, and I didn't even realize it until I got home.
My high school students read music today.
I realize that probably sounds unimpressive, but keep in mind that they have no formal training before they had me. Everything has been by rote, and with the situation I was given, I also taught everything by rote (I may have been able to start the process of reading notation sooner, but it was more important to me that they play a variety of repertoire well rather than be able to read a few pieces and play them decently). Since the Christmas concert, we've been working on notation stuff, and going back to the stuff from marching season to decipher how to notate it. Today, we took our first steps into sightreading, and while it was a lugubrious process (hahaha I had to use that word, not because it was all that horrible of an experience, but because H. Robert Reynolds said it at the FMEA conference. . . you had to be there), they did it. Sure, I was there prompting them, but ultimately I was just asking them what they saw on the page and how it should sound. I didn't allow myself to just play it for them. Yeah, it took the whole class to get through 4 measures, but you know what? That's progress. And sightreading 8th/16th patterns isn't exactly ideal sightreading for beginners, but it's not impossible, especially since they've played a lot of those rhythms over the course of the marching season. They've just never seen them before.
And then, if the rumors are true and I can get my foot in that doorway. . . the possibilities! . . . sorry to be vague, but I don't want to reveal this nugget that I learned at FMEA until I know more about it.
God is so good :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wouldn't say I was suprised that the example in the book was about Noah, but it was kind of like, "Yeah. . . yeah, that makes sense." He and his family were the survivors of a cosmic assault on the Earth; clearly he was doing something right. One thing that struck me about this story is that God was grieved at creating man. My study Bible has a good footnote:
"Does this mean that God regretted creating humanity? Was he admitting he made a mistake? No, God does not change his mind (1 Samuel 15:29). Instead, he was expressing sorrow for what the people had done to themselves, as a parent might express sorrow over a rebellious child. God was sorry that the people chose sin and death instead of a relationship with him."
I think the story of Noah gives us some insight into the character of God. Again, we see Him with emotions (anger, sadness, and eventually pleasure in Noah's action, so far as to promise to never destroy mankind again. If that's not the definition of mercy, I don't know what is). My study Bible gives its wisdom again:
"Countless times throughout the Bible we see God showing his love and patience toward men and women in order to save them. Although he realizes that their hearts are evil, he continues to try to reach them. When we sin or fall away from God, we surely deserve to be destroyed by his judgment. But God has promised never again to destroy everything on earth unil the judgment day when Christ returns to destroy evil forever. Now every change of season is a reminder of his promise."
(Also, I have to mention another "coincidence": I played Somewhere Over the Rainbow for my students today. . .)
Once again, we have 5 organizers for rambling Ben to follow! This time it is ways we can make God smile.
Loving Him supremely is the first one the book mentions. It really is amazing to think that God wants to have a relationship with us. He can do ANYTHING, and yet what He wants is to have us know and love Him. What an honor. . . and what a sad reality for people that know the truth and reject it. Looking at the way I lived in college, and even in the months leading up to my move to the Sunshine State, I could be ashamed of the way I was acting towards God. But you know what? God loved me through all of it, and brought me to this point, whether I planned on it or not. But now I am starting to see it so much more clearly. I know that He's not finished with me yet (mostly the chorus of that song. . . I wasn't born in Tennesee :-P). I'm working on knowing Him and spending time with Him, and how else can one try and fulfill the greatest commandments?
Second, we can make Him smile by trusting Him completely. On the one side, it seems like this should be so easy, but I think this is one of the hardest things to do. Doubt and worry can be huge forces in keeping us from listening to God's will. Sometimes we in our limited human understanding can't imagine how a situation will turn out well if we follow God's plan. What a folly on our part, though, especially those that see the hand of God in our lives. Of course, the disciples were part of miracles and still had hardened hearts. This is probably the biggest area I can work on; knowing that He will take care of me, through the good times (that I am currently enjoying) and the hard storms (like late June/early July was. . . even though I didn't deserve it).
Third, He smiles when we obey wholeheartedly. The book is so true when it talks about partial obedience. It's easy to follow the things we like, or that make sense to us, and to conveniently ignore the stuff that we don't like or can't make sense of. What I've found though is that willful ignorance just leads to guilt, which if you don't like (and most people don't) pushes you into repentance and conviction to change. It's also true when it says that obeying Him is something that brings us mutual joy. I just read Psalm 119 earlier today (coincidence? OK, OK, I'll stop doing that. . . someday. . .) and it struck me how devoted the writer was. I pray that I will reach that point, and soon. I'm weeding out things that I've found do not jive with God's will, and often replacing the time I used to spend on those things with spending time with God, or doing something productive for my job, or at the very least keeping myself from following old, destructive paths. I can't say that I'm wildly successful yet, since I haven't really started doing this until recently, but we'll see how things pan out. I just want to transform my life into that of a good and faithful servant.
We can make God smile by praising and thanking Him continually. The analogy of a mother who cooks for her children is fantastic, because everyone can relate to it. That whole mutual exchange is so evident, and hopefully, as I work on establishing the lifestyle of worship, I'll find that mutual enjoyment for the rest of my life. I think that's part of what makes Sunday mornings so magical for some people; it may be the only time of the week where they are authentically praising God and recieving the blessings of His presence. I'm starting to feel that in different parts of my weekdays, and that is such an exciting feeling. Even in simple things (such as getting through my 8th grade class period) I'm starting to rejoice in the strength God gives me, and the positive attitude he brings into my soul (even when I feel discouraged or angry). Again, I don't mean this as a bragging point, but I just. . . I want to share it with others! I'm not perfect, and I don't have all my ducks in a row yet (and I don't think either of those will ever happen, considering I am human), but the process in itself is the most rewarding thing I've experienced.
Finally (doesn't every last main point begin with "Finally"?) God smiles when we use our abilities. God doesn't want us just when we're in a "worship setting" (which, if you think to yesterday, there is no such thing) but ALL of our lives! Think about it: He created nature, animals, music, cooking, architecture, science, reading, tennis, and so on. And each of us have strengths and interests in different areas. How can he not be happy when we are exploring and using those strengths in the world He created for us? Sometimes I feel people get the impression that to be "holy" or "spiritual" you are constantly reading the Bible, praying, and fasting. While all of those things might be part of what you do, it's more about living in the world with an awareness of God's total presence. It stands to reason that there is indeed a "Godly" way to play tennis, for example, and therefore there's also an "ungodly" way (and it has nothing to do with skill). One final quote from the book:
"Parents do not require their children to be perfect, or even mature, in order to enjoy them. They enjoy them at every stage of development."
Hallelujah!
Point to Ponder: God smiles when I trust him.
I can understand that. I definitely prefer it when my students do what I ask or go along with what I say without questioning my intent. I would rather say, "Do this," and explain after (if whatever I had them do did not have a self-evident purpose) then try and explain something (which, often with my middle schoolers, just goes over their heads anyway) and ruin the effect or confuse them. I think I know what's best for my students (my band students at least), but even if they know and believe that, but I think there's still a part of human nature that says, "But I want to know why RIGHT NOW." And if it doesn't make sense to us, why would we want to go along with it? That's where that whole trust thing comes in. And if God hasn't earned my trust, then I'm doing it wrong.
Verse to Remember: Psalm 147:11 "The Lord is pleased with those who worship him and trust his love." Common English Version
Just a quick note- Pastor Dan made a comment about how the best version of the Bible is "the one you will read." Very smart statement, really. So, although that wasn't the original reason I was putting the different translation names with the verses, it is now, so that someone reading this might go, "I really like that. I want to read more of the Bible that sounds that way." That has nothing to do with the actual verse, but I wanted you to know.
Question to Consider: Since God knows what is best, in what areas of my life do I need to trust him most?
I could probably list a slew (yes, slew and not slough. . . yay English lessons) of things, but upon reflection I think the biggest obstacle right now is trusting Him with my relationships. I've already discussed how I feel like I'm an awful speaker and that I am quite socially awkward (oh man, ask me about some things that happened at FMEA and you'll understand). Having moved 1,200 miles away from the only place I knew as home (Southwest Michigan) and leaving behind some rather big messes in the relationship category, it's hard to think that I would be able to establish healthy relationships here. Now, don't get me wrong, I plan on/am working on fixing the things that are messed up from back there, but having the distance is working to my advantage in these situations. And it's tough when you're working on self-image issues simultaneous to all the changes. . . so I have to trust that God has brought people into my life who will support me and enjoy my company and, well, love me (I have some "love" issues, which is something I'm not going to get into tonight, but I'm sure it will come up again). I also have to trust that, if I am loving them back and interacting in a way pleasing to God, he will bless the connections I'm making down here and continue to provide exactly what/who I need. And maybe therein lies the key to fixing the problems from back home. . . and that's something that I need to go think about.
My high school students read music today.
I realize that probably sounds unimpressive, but keep in mind that they have no formal training before they had me. Everything has been by rote, and with the situation I was given, I also taught everything by rote (I may have been able to start the process of reading notation sooner, but it was more important to me that they play a variety of repertoire well rather than be able to read a few pieces and play them decently). Since the Christmas concert, we've been working on notation stuff, and going back to the stuff from marching season to decipher how to notate it. Today, we took our first steps into sightreading, and while it was a lugubrious process (hahaha I had to use that word, not because it was all that horrible of an experience, but because H. Robert Reynolds said it at the FMEA conference. . . you had to be there), they did it. Sure, I was there prompting them, but ultimately I was just asking them what they saw on the page and how it should sound. I didn't allow myself to just play it for them. Yeah, it took the whole class to get through 4 measures, but you know what? That's progress. And sightreading 8th/16th patterns isn't exactly ideal sightreading for beginners, but it's not impossible, especially since they've played a lot of those rhythms over the course of the marching season. They've just never seen them before.
And then, if the rumors are true and I can get my foot in that doorway. . . the possibilities! . . . sorry to be vague, but I don't want to reveal this nugget that I learned at FMEA until I know more about it.
God is so good :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I wouldn't say I was suprised that the example in the book was about Noah, but it was kind of like, "Yeah. . . yeah, that makes sense." He and his family were the survivors of a cosmic assault on the Earth; clearly he was doing something right. One thing that struck me about this story is that God was grieved at creating man. My study Bible has a good footnote:
"Does this mean that God regretted creating humanity? Was he admitting he made a mistake? No, God does not change his mind (1 Samuel 15:29). Instead, he was expressing sorrow for what the people had done to themselves, as a parent might express sorrow over a rebellious child. God was sorry that the people chose sin and death instead of a relationship with him."
I think the story of Noah gives us some insight into the character of God. Again, we see Him with emotions (anger, sadness, and eventually pleasure in Noah's action, so far as to promise to never destroy mankind again. If that's not the definition of mercy, I don't know what is). My study Bible gives its wisdom again:
"Countless times throughout the Bible we see God showing his love and patience toward men and women in order to save them. Although he realizes that their hearts are evil, he continues to try to reach them. When we sin or fall away from God, we surely deserve to be destroyed by his judgment. But God has promised never again to destroy everything on earth unil the judgment day when Christ returns to destroy evil forever. Now every change of season is a reminder of his promise."
(Also, I have to mention another "coincidence": I played Somewhere Over the Rainbow for my students today. . .)
Once again, we have 5 organizers for rambling Ben to follow! This time it is ways we can make God smile.
Loving Him supremely is the first one the book mentions. It really is amazing to think that God wants to have a relationship with us. He can do ANYTHING, and yet what He wants is to have us know and love Him. What an honor. . . and what a sad reality for people that know the truth and reject it. Looking at the way I lived in college, and even in the months leading up to my move to the Sunshine State, I could be ashamed of the way I was acting towards God. But you know what? God loved me through all of it, and brought me to this point, whether I planned on it or not. But now I am starting to see it so much more clearly. I know that He's not finished with me yet (mostly the chorus of that song. . . I wasn't born in Tennesee :-P). I'm working on knowing Him and spending time with Him, and how else can one try and fulfill the greatest commandments?
Second, we can make Him smile by trusting Him completely. On the one side, it seems like this should be so easy, but I think this is one of the hardest things to do. Doubt and worry can be huge forces in keeping us from listening to God's will. Sometimes we in our limited human understanding can't imagine how a situation will turn out well if we follow God's plan. What a folly on our part, though, especially those that see the hand of God in our lives. Of course, the disciples were part of miracles and still had hardened hearts. This is probably the biggest area I can work on; knowing that He will take care of me, through the good times (that I am currently enjoying) and the hard storms (like late June/early July was. . . even though I didn't deserve it).
Third, He smiles when we obey wholeheartedly. The book is so true when it talks about partial obedience. It's easy to follow the things we like, or that make sense to us, and to conveniently ignore the stuff that we don't like or can't make sense of. What I've found though is that willful ignorance just leads to guilt, which if you don't like (and most people don't) pushes you into repentance and conviction to change. It's also true when it says that obeying Him is something that brings us mutual joy. I just read Psalm 119 earlier today (coincidence? OK, OK, I'll stop doing that. . . someday. . .) and it struck me how devoted the writer was. I pray that I will reach that point, and soon. I'm weeding out things that I've found do not jive with God's will, and often replacing the time I used to spend on those things with spending time with God, or doing something productive for my job, or at the very least keeping myself from following old, destructive paths. I can't say that I'm wildly successful yet, since I haven't really started doing this until recently, but we'll see how things pan out. I just want to transform my life into that of a good and faithful servant.
We can make God smile by praising and thanking Him continually. The analogy of a mother who cooks for her children is fantastic, because everyone can relate to it. That whole mutual exchange is so evident, and hopefully, as I work on establishing the lifestyle of worship, I'll find that mutual enjoyment for the rest of my life. I think that's part of what makes Sunday mornings so magical for some people; it may be the only time of the week where they are authentically praising God and recieving the blessings of His presence. I'm starting to feel that in different parts of my weekdays, and that is such an exciting feeling. Even in simple things (such as getting through my 8th grade class period) I'm starting to rejoice in the strength God gives me, and the positive attitude he brings into my soul (even when I feel discouraged or angry). Again, I don't mean this as a bragging point, but I just. . . I want to share it with others! I'm not perfect, and I don't have all my ducks in a row yet (and I don't think either of those will ever happen, considering I am human), but the process in itself is the most rewarding thing I've experienced.
Finally (doesn't every last main point begin with "Finally"?) God smiles when we use our abilities. God doesn't want us just when we're in a "worship setting" (which, if you think to yesterday, there is no such thing) but ALL of our lives! Think about it: He created nature, animals, music, cooking, architecture, science, reading, tennis, and so on. And each of us have strengths and interests in different areas. How can he not be happy when we are exploring and using those strengths in the world He created for us? Sometimes I feel people get the impression that to be "holy" or "spiritual" you are constantly reading the Bible, praying, and fasting. While all of those things might be part of what you do, it's more about living in the world with an awareness of God's total presence. It stands to reason that there is indeed a "Godly" way to play tennis, for example, and therefore there's also an "ungodly" way (and it has nothing to do with skill). One final quote from the book:
"Parents do not require their children to be perfect, or even mature, in order to enjoy them. They enjoy them at every stage of development."
Hallelujah!
Point to Ponder: God smiles when I trust him.
I can understand that. I definitely prefer it when my students do what I ask or go along with what I say without questioning my intent. I would rather say, "Do this," and explain after (if whatever I had them do did not have a self-evident purpose) then try and explain something (which, often with my middle schoolers, just goes over their heads anyway) and ruin the effect or confuse them. I think I know what's best for my students (my band students at least), but even if they know and believe that, but I think there's still a part of human nature that says, "But I want to know why RIGHT NOW." And if it doesn't make sense to us, why would we want to go along with it? That's where that whole trust thing comes in. And if God hasn't earned my trust, then I'm doing it wrong.
Verse to Remember: Psalm 147:11 "The Lord is pleased with those who worship him and trust his love." Common English Version
Just a quick note- Pastor Dan made a comment about how the best version of the Bible is "the one you will read." Very smart statement, really. So, although that wasn't the original reason I was putting the different translation names with the verses, it is now, so that someone reading this might go, "I really like that. I want to read more of the Bible that sounds that way." That has nothing to do with the actual verse, but I wanted you to know.
Question to Consider: Since God knows what is best, in what areas of my life do I need to trust him most?
I could probably list a slew (yes, slew and not slough. . . yay English lessons) of things, but upon reflection I think the biggest obstacle right now is trusting Him with my relationships. I've already discussed how I feel like I'm an awful speaker and that I am quite socially awkward (oh man, ask me about some things that happened at FMEA and you'll understand). Having moved 1,200 miles away from the only place I knew as home (Southwest Michigan) and leaving behind some rather big messes in the relationship category, it's hard to think that I would be able to establish healthy relationships here. Now, don't get me wrong, I plan on/am working on fixing the things that are messed up from back there, but having the distance is working to my advantage in these situations. And it's tough when you're working on self-image issues simultaneous to all the changes. . . so I have to trust that God has brought people into my life who will support me and enjoy my company and, well, love me (I have some "love" issues, which is something I'm not going to get into tonight, but I'm sure it will come up again). I also have to trust that, if I am loving them back and interacting in a way pleasing to God, he will bless the connections I'm making down here and continue to provide exactly what/who I need. And maybe therein lies the key to fixing the problems from back home. . . and that's something that I need to go think about.
Day 10
I don't think I really mentioned this before, but I'm so glad that I have a definition of "worship" now. It helps me to make sense of a lot of things.
I have All-County Band rehearsals tonight and Thursday night, so hopefully I can still get entries in without having to do any hand-written stuff like I did for FMEA. I shouldn't have a problem today, but if you don't see an entry Thursday, you know why.
LATER: I AM SO GLAD I WENT TO THAT REHEARSAL. And I get to do it again Thursday evening!!!!!!! :) :) :) I've forgotten how much I missed band. Don't get me wrong, I love my students, but the level of musicianship and just experience at an All-County event is obviously more impressive than after school beginning band. I just stayed back with the percussion the whole time and gave them tips about how to play the instruments or the music better. They all listened to me (I did their auditions, so they probably remembered me) and improved on the things I told them. It validated me as a band director again, even if I'm the only one who took notice. I was dancing all over the place too, but you know, music is so physical, and especially percussion, and I just couldn't help myself. They all probably think I'm crazy, but I think they also all respected the fact that I knew what I was talking about. It was so much fun. I hope I never forget what an amazing job I have and never become complacent or egotistical as an educator.
OK, it's going to be a bit of a task to get myself to focus and finish this entry, but I will do my best. . .
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The negative connotation our society gives to "surrender" sometimes pushes people away from religion, especially when they don't see much of the vast picture. I feel that, although they may not express it after visiting a church, people often are afraid of being "brainwashed" or "controlled" and becoming some kind of cult zombie. Either that, or they feel like they are being scared into it by the pastor yelling at the front about eternal damnation (sometimes the Church has great intentions but fails at delivering, and it makes me sad to think that people aren't being reached because we (the Church again) are trying to make others change their minds and lives in their first visit to church. Can we affect them, plant a seed? No, by ourselves we can't, but if we allow God to use us, well, anything is possible. Sometimes I feel like we're so busy trying to "save" everyone that we aren't doing it with the right heart. I saw this not too long ago, and it goes along with what I was saying.
I just put a video into my parenthetical interruption. I rock! Except now you have to go back and read before the parenthesis to see what I was even talking about originally). But, as the book says, we surrender in love, not fear or duty.
I think I might go back and start rereading through Romans. I've found it to be one of my favorites books, and since it's mentioned in here, it might have some good stuff for me to rediscover.
Three barriers=organization!
First is fear. It's strange to think that anyone who has Jesus in their life should be afraid of anything! But unfortunately, we're human. We have limited abilities and limited foresight, and even the things we feel 99% sure about still have that 1% of doubt. And that 1% is enough to gnaw away at the 99%, leaving us feeling quite uneasy. (continued after the rehearsal) And what do we do when we are afraid? We find something to comfort us. Are we always finding comfort in God's arms? Because if we are, then the fear thing really goes out the window. When I finally get around to adding in all the verses each chapter mentions (I'll probably do that this weekend), there's a great list about the proof of God's love.
Second is pride. I think the most powerful statement in this section of the book was when it said we can accept our humanness intellectually but not emotionally. Everyone can rationalize things like, "I do not have the ability to fly," or, "I cannot control the thoughts of (fill in the person)." Don't those thoughts make us angry or sad, even though we know that it's just part of being a human being? I mean, I wish I could express myself with words better and not be so ramble-y, but I think that's just one of my "human" obstacles that I'll have to deal with my entire life. And you know, it's OK, because God made me this way. So even though it takes me 3 extra minutes to tell a 30-second story (and even though I type parenthetical commentary that becomes a distraction more than anything else), I have to realize that God can and will use me if I let Him.
Finally (hahaha) the book says that confusion sometimes keeps us from surrendering. I think I'm still dealing with this idea of giving everything over gives us freedom. I understand the concept, but I guess I just haven't reached that point of maturity to really give everything up. I'm waiting for that "aha!" moment. . . I don't want to say that "I know it's close," but I do feel like I'm on the way there. I think my daily Bible reading is helping in that process, too. The book makes a good point about how saying "No, Lord," is a contradiction (because calling Him "Lord" and disobeying Him do not jive). But sometimes it's hard to give up control, especially when you want things to go a certain way. I've got to work on focusing my mind on what God wants to happen, because if I can do that, then who am I to step in and try to accomplish His agenda my way? If He wants to use me, then yes, I would play that role, but if I am not in control, then I just have to listen to orders and play the role I'm asked to (and only that). "Surrendered hearts show up best in relationships." This is something I will have to keep in my brain and ponder.
I also really like the part that talks about prayer. We shouldn't ask God if he is able to do something, but if it is His will to do or not do something. All the "big names" from the Bible (Noah, Abraham, Joshua, Mary, just to name a few; I'll link to verses/passages later) were used to do amazing things by God because they surrendered to Him completely. And, if we don't surrender to God, we surrender to something else (money, a relationship, pride and ego, lust. . . again, someday I'll put verses. But I gotta get to bed).
And finally, our "coincidence" for the evening. The book talks about how being a "living sacrifice" means that we have the choice to crawl off the altar, and we have to start choosing to get back on the altar. Guess who talked about being a living sacrifice this past Sunday morning? I had never really thought about what that passage in Scripture meant, but now I get a much better idea. I had just never thought about it much before.
BTW, the answer to the question above is "Pastor Dan." You get a cookie if you guessed it (and a strange look if you didn't).
OK, nearly done-
Point to Ponder: The heart of worship is surrender.
So, in wordy language, the core of pleasing God is to willfully give our entire lives over to Him. Considering He made us and gave us this world to live in, it seems reasonable to me.
Verse to Remember: Romans 6:13b- "Surrender your whole being to him to be used for righteous purposes." Today's English Version
I'm going to explore a little of Romans tonight. Also, I've been looking at the word "Romans" too long because I feel like it's missing a letter. It must be late. . . :)
Question to Consider: What area of my life am I holding back from God?
I think certain parts of my job and probably most of my relationships are things that I'm having a hard time giving over, and I don't know why. Well, I can understand the job thing (pride), but failing relationships? I'm clearly doing something wrong. . . so that's something that I need to keep exploring.
I have All-County Band rehearsals tonight and Thursday night, so hopefully I can still get entries in without having to do any hand-written stuff like I did for FMEA. I shouldn't have a problem today, but if you don't see an entry Thursday, you know why.
LATER: I AM SO GLAD I WENT TO THAT REHEARSAL. And I get to do it again Thursday evening!!!!!!! :) :) :) I've forgotten how much I missed band. Don't get me wrong, I love my students, but the level of musicianship and just experience at an All-County event is obviously more impressive than after school beginning band. I just stayed back with the percussion the whole time and gave them tips about how to play the instruments or the music better. They all listened to me (I did their auditions, so they probably remembered me) and improved on the things I told them. It validated me as a band director again, even if I'm the only one who took notice. I was dancing all over the place too, but you know, music is so physical, and especially percussion, and I just couldn't help myself. They all probably think I'm crazy, but I think they also all respected the fact that I knew what I was talking about. It was so much fun. I hope I never forget what an amazing job I have and never become complacent or egotistical as an educator.
OK, it's going to be a bit of a task to get myself to focus and finish this entry, but I will do my best. . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The negative connotation our society gives to "surrender" sometimes pushes people away from religion, especially when they don't see much of the vast picture. I feel that, although they may not express it after visiting a church, people often are afraid of being "brainwashed" or "controlled" and becoming some kind of cult zombie. Either that, or they feel like they are being scared into it by the pastor yelling at the front about eternal damnation (sometimes the Church has great intentions but fails at delivering, and it makes me sad to think that people aren't being reached because we (the Church again) are trying to make others change their minds and lives in their first visit to church. Can we affect them, plant a seed? No, by ourselves we can't, but if we allow God to use us, well, anything is possible. Sometimes I feel like we're so busy trying to "save" everyone that we aren't doing it with the right heart. I saw this not too long ago, and it goes along with what I was saying.
I just put a video into my parenthetical interruption. I rock! Except now you have to go back and read before the parenthesis to see what I was even talking about originally). But, as the book says, we surrender in love, not fear or duty.
I think I might go back and start rereading through Romans. I've found it to be one of my favorites books, and since it's mentioned in here, it might have some good stuff for me to rediscover.
Three barriers=organization!
First is fear. It's strange to think that anyone who has Jesus in their life should be afraid of anything! But unfortunately, we're human. We have limited abilities and limited foresight, and even the things we feel 99% sure about still have that 1% of doubt. And that 1% is enough to gnaw away at the 99%, leaving us feeling quite uneasy. (continued after the rehearsal) And what do we do when we are afraid? We find something to comfort us. Are we always finding comfort in God's arms? Because if we are, then the fear thing really goes out the window. When I finally get around to adding in all the verses each chapter mentions (I'll probably do that this weekend), there's a great list about the proof of God's love.
Second is pride. I think the most powerful statement in this section of the book was when it said we can accept our humanness intellectually but not emotionally. Everyone can rationalize things like, "I do not have the ability to fly," or, "I cannot control the thoughts of (fill in the person)." Don't those thoughts make us angry or sad, even though we know that it's just part of being a human being? I mean, I wish I could express myself with words better and not be so ramble-y, but I think that's just one of my "human" obstacles that I'll have to deal with my entire life. And you know, it's OK, because God made me this way. So even though it takes me 3 extra minutes to tell a 30-second story (and even though I type parenthetical commentary that becomes a distraction more than anything else), I have to realize that God can and will use me if I let Him.
Finally (hahaha) the book says that confusion sometimes keeps us from surrendering. I think I'm still dealing with this idea of giving everything over gives us freedom. I understand the concept, but I guess I just haven't reached that point of maturity to really give everything up. I'm waiting for that "aha!" moment. . . I don't want to say that "I know it's close," but I do feel like I'm on the way there. I think my daily Bible reading is helping in that process, too. The book makes a good point about how saying "No, Lord," is a contradiction (because calling Him "Lord" and disobeying Him do not jive). But sometimes it's hard to give up control, especially when you want things to go a certain way. I've got to work on focusing my mind on what God wants to happen, because if I can do that, then who am I to step in and try to accomplish His agenda my way? If He wants to use me, then yes, I would play that role, but if I am not in control, then I just have to listen to orders and play the role I'm asked to (and only that). "Surrendered hearts show up best in relationships." This is something I will have to keep in my brain and ponder.
I also really like the part that talks about prayer. We shouldn't ask God if he is able to do something, but if it is His will to do or not do something. All the "big names" from the Bible (Noah, Abraham, Joshua, Mary, just to name a few; I'll link to verses/passages later) were used to do amazing things by God because they surrendered to Him completely. And, if we don't surrender to God, we surrender to something else (money, a relationship, pride and ego, lust. . . again, someday I'll put verses. But I gotta get to bed).
And finally, our "coincidence" for the evening. The book talks about how being a "living sacrifice" means that we have the choice to crawl off the altar, and we have to start choosing to get back on the altar. Guess who talked about being a living sacrifice this past Sunday morning? I had never really thought about what that passage in Scripture meant, but now I get a much better idea. I had just never thought about it much before.
BTW, the answer to the question above is "Pastor Dan." You get a cookie if you guessed it (and a strange look if you didn't).
OK, nearly done-
Point to Ponder: The heart of worship is surrender.
So, in wordy language, the core of pleasing God is to willfully give our entire lives over to Him. Considering He made us and gave us this world to live in, it seems reasonable to me.
Verse to Remember: Romans 6:13b- "Surrender your whole being to him to be used for righteous purposes." Today's English Version
I'm going to explore a little of Romans tonight. Also, I've been looking at the word "Romans" too long because I feel like it's missing a letter. It must be late. . . :)
Question to Consider: What area of my life am I holding back from God?
I think certain parts of my job and probably most of my relationships are things that I'm having a hard time giving over, and I don't know why. Well, I can understand the job thing (pride), but failing relationships? I'm clearly doing something wrong. . . so that's something that I need to keep exploring.
Day 12
Well, I don't have the advantage of a few hours before driving to rehearsal tonight (I left early Tuesday because I wasn't planning on having a 4 hour rehearsal, but today I wanted to finish grades at school), so I've read the entry, but I probably won't post about it until sometime after 9:30 PM tonight.
Tomorrow's the last day of the semester! I can't believe I'm officially halfway through the school year now. . . and this weekend is a four day weekend, with MLK on Monday and a teacher-duty day on Tuesday (it's for grades, but mine are done!!! :) so I'll be watching movies on my projector and cleaning up my room and office, because I have piles EVERYWHERE).
OK. Time to jet. Be back in 7 or so hours.
LATER: I am wholeheartedly in denial that I have responsibilities tomorrow (namely, teaching all day). I gave my final exams today and got all my grading done at school, so it's like. . . why do I have to come in tomorrow? Oh well. It doesn't make sense for me to take a day off when I don't mentally need it, and tomorrow will be an easy day (I'll probably just put my students on the pianos for half the class and just listen to music by request for the rest of it. And advertise band for next year, of course).
Did I mention how glad I am I went to the All County rehearsals? I got to lead a percussion sectional for the first half of rehearsal this evening (AWESOME) and then I just hung out with them again for full ensemble. I can't wait until I have my own band!!!
But for now, I need to get to the book so I can get to sleep. Hopefully I won't rush through this, but I'm starting it after 10 PM. . . yay full schedules!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The whole opening of this chapter is really eye-opening. It challenges us to be completely honest with God. Everyone from Job to David to Jeremiah to Abraham all expressed their honest reactions to things that God did (and someday I'll link specific passages. . . hopefully this weekend). And really, when we look at our human relationships, aren't the closest ones where both people are 100% honest, never holding things back? It's those relationships with secrets or eggshells that tend to fall apart in major ways. An important point for me to think about: ". . . God uses everything for good in our lives." I need to think about any "hidden rifts" with God.
Obedience is the second (fourth?) thing here mentioned to make a deeper connection with God. We certainly don't "obey" our friends, but God isn't just our friend. We are not His equals (nope, not even trumpet players :-p). I love this statement too: "True friendship isn't passive: it acts." I know I can think of some passive friendships that I've been part of. . .they don't last. Either the person doing all the work finally loses it or, in the case of mutual passitivity, the friendship just fades away. Thankfully, no matter how frustrating we are, God will not give up on us. I know that all too well.
Third/fifth in the list of friendship cultivators is valuing what God values. I think everyone has gone to a movie, watched a sports game/team, listened to music, or otherwise subjected themselves to something that may not be their cup of tea because a great friend suggested it to them (or offered it as a chance to spend time together). Soon, in a close relationship, that often turns into a new interest for us because the friend cares about it so much.
Finally (have I used this in every entry?) is desiring friendship with God more than anything else. On the final flight down to Florida (the day before I started work at Taylor), I knew I was getting into something exciting and more importantly, something that I had not planned. I was reading one of the Left Behind books (it might have been the end of the 1st or the beginning of the 2nd one, I don't remember) and, if you're familiar with the characters, was really jealous of Bruce, the pastor who was left behind. I wasn't jealous of his situation, but of his passion and zeal for God and the Word and getting other people to realize what was going on. Right then, in my airplane seat, I asked that God would renew that fervor in me, give me that spirit and zeal for Him, and generally just reconnect my life to His plan (it wasn't worded that well, probably). And now, 5 months later, I've seen it coming true. It wasn't an immediate "HALLELUJAH" by any means. It started small; after trying a couple churches, I came to Stetson Baptist and liked it a lot, and heard that they were getting a new pastor soon. So I decided to stick around and see what that guy had to offer. Meanwhile, I got hooked up with my Sunday School class, which has turned out to be one of the greatest unexpected blessings thus far. I was beginning to read my Bible regularly too; I started in the New Testament with familiar things, and then started branching out (and am currently forging my way through the Prophetic books, although I've taken a step back and have been reading Romans because of it's application to this journey, and it's just a great book). Then I was really impacted by the first Sunday I heard Pastor Dan preach (see previous entry, link to come soon). Then I started to get convicted about things. I threw away the bottle (yes, it is what it sounds like, but I'll spare details for now) and joined the church, and finally got baptized. For me, although it was long in coming, it was perfect in timing, because it was an opportunity for me to recommit my life to God publicly. And it's only been (overall) on the rise since then. Things aren't perfect, and I'm still workign on stuff, and I don't quite "get it" yet, but I know I'm on the way, and it's close.
Now that it's almost 11 PM-
Point to Ponder: I'm as close to God as I choose to be.
Replace God with any other person (especially family), and I think you'll realize the same holds true. The difference is that God's love is not unpredictable, but it is truly unconditional.
Verse to Remember: James 4:8a- "Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you." New Living Translation
Often people cry out to God, wondering why they feel alone, why He's left their presence, what they are doing wrong that He is not with them? Well, first of all, He is always with us and watching over us, and second, we are probably doing something that is pushing God away from us, when we get right down to it. I know I can think of a couple examples in my life where, looking back now, it's like. . . duh! Don't expect God to be close to you as you break His commands and disregard His law.
Question to Consider: What practical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?
One thing that I've been trying (though I don't know how practical this is) is imagining Jesus sitting or standing in a room while I'm doing something. Doing that reminds me the kind of attitude I should have and to incorporate Him into my questioning, reasoning, and responding.
I apologize for the lack of links and potential spelling/grammar errors. I'll go back and edit later, but for now I need to get to bed.
Tomorrow's the last day of the semester! I can't believe I'm officially halfway through the school year now. . . and this weekend is a four day weekend, with MLK on Monday and a teacher-duty day on Tuesday (it's for grades, but mine are done!!! :) so I'll be watching movies on my projector and cleaning up my room and office, because I have piles EVERYWHERE).
OK. Time to jet. Be back in 7 or so hours.
LATER: I am wholeheartedly in denial that I have responsibilities tomorrow (namely, teaching all day). I gave my final exams today and got all my grading done at school, so it's like. . . why do I have to come in tomorrow? Oh well. It doesn't make sense for me to take a day off when I don't mentally need it, and tomorrow will be an easy day (I'll probably just put my students on the pianos for half the class and just listen to music by request for the rest of it. And advertise band for next year, of course).
Did I mention how glad I am I went to the All County rehearsals? I got to lead a percussion sectional for the first half of rehearsal this evening (AWESOME) and then I just hung out with them again for full ensemble. I can't wait until I have my own band!!!
But for now, I need to get to the book so I can get to sleep. Hopefully I won't rush through this, but I'm starting it after 10 PM. . . yay full schedules!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The whole opening of this chapter is really eye-opening. It challenges us to be completely honest with God. Everyone from Job to David to Jeremiah to Abraham all expressed their honest reactions to things that God did (and someday I'll link specific passages. . . hopefully this weekend). And really, when we look at our human relationships, aren't the closest ones where both people are 100% honest, never holding things back? It's those relationships with secrets or eggshells that tend to fall apart in major ways. An important point for me to think about: ". . . God uses everything for good in our lives." I need to think about any "hidden rifts" with God.
Obedience is the second (fourth?) thing here mentioned to make a deeper connection with God. We certainly don't "obey" our friends, but God isn't just our friend. We are not His equals (nope, not even trumpet players :-p). I love this statement too: "True friendship isn't passive: it acts." I know I can think of some passive friendships that I've been part of. . .they don't last. Either the person doing all the work finally loses it or, in the case of mutual passitivity, the friendship just fades away. Thankfully, no matter how frustrating we are, God will not give up on us. I know that all too well.
Third/fifth in the list of friendship cultivators is valuing what God values. I think everyone has gone to a movie, watched a sports game/team, listened to music, or otherwise subjected themselves to something that may not be their cup of tea because a great friend suggested it to them (or offered it as a chance to spend time together). Soon, in a close relationship, that often turns into a new interest for us because the friend cares about it so much.
Finally (have I used this in every entry?) is desiring friendship with God more than anything else. On the final flight down to Florida (the day before I started work at Taylor), I knew I was getting into something exciting and more importantly, something that I had not planned. I was reading one of the Left Behind books (it might have been the end of the 1st or the beginning of the 2nd one, I don't remember) and, if you're familiar with the characters, was really jealous of Bruce, the pastor who was left behind. I wasn't jealous of his situation, but of his passion and zeal for God and the Word and getting other people to realize what was going on. Right then, in my airplane seat, I asked that God would renew that fervor in me, give me that spirit and zeal for Him, and generally just reconnect my life to His plan (it wasn't worded that well, probably). And now, 5 months later, I've seen it coming true. It wasn't an immediate "HALLELUJAH" by any means. It started small; after trying a couple churches, I came to Stetson Baptist and liked it a lot, and heard that they were getting a new pastor soon. So I decided to stick around and see what that guy had to offer. Meanwhile, I got hooked up with my Sunday School class, which has turned out to be one of the greatest unexpected blessings thus far. I was beginning to read my Bible regularly too; I started in the New Testament with familiar things, and then started branching out (and am currently forging my way through the Prophetic books, although I've taken a step back and have been reading Romans because of it's application to this journey, and it's just a great book). Then I was really impacted by the first Sunday I heard Pastor Dan preach (see previous entry, link to come soon). Then I started to get convicted about things. I threw away the bottle (yes, it is what it sounds like, but I'll spare details for now) and joined the church, and finally got baptized. For me, although it was long in coming, it was perfect in timing, because it was an opportunity for me to recommit my life to God publicly. And it's only been (overall) on the rise since then. Things aren't perfect, and I'm still workign on stuff, and I don't quite "get it" yet, but I know I'm on the way, and it's close.
Now that it's almost 11 PM-
Point to Ponder: I'm as close to God as I choose to be.
Replace God with any other person (especially family), and I think you'll realize the same holds true. The difference is that God's love is not unpredictable, but it is truly unconditional.
Verse to Remember: James 4:8a- "Draw close to God, and God will draw close to you." New Living Translation
Often people cry out to God, wondering why they feel alone, why He's left their presence, what they are doing wrong that He is not with them? Well, first of all, He is always with us and watching over us, and second, we are probably doing something that is pushing God away from us, when we get right down to it. I know I can think of a couple examples in my life where, looking back now, it's like. . . duh! Don't expect God to be close to you as you break His commands and disregard His law.
Question to Consider: What practical choices will I make today in order to grow closer to God?
One thing that I've been trying (though I don't know how practical this is) is imagining Jesus sitting or standing in a room while I'm doing something. Doing that reminds me the kind of attitude I should have and to incorporate Him into my questioning, reasoning, and responding.
I apologize for the lack of links and potential spelling/grammar errors. I'll go back and edit later, but for now I need to get to bed.
Day 13
In honor of having officially taught an entire semester (18 weeks), I am making Dannielle's amazing oatmeal chocolate chip cookies :) and I'm snacking on pistachios, which are basically the best nut in the world (in taste and in positive health factors).
However, that means I'm going to have a TON of dishes to do. . . on top of the dirty ones already piled (LATER: I did the dishes, no complaints and no problem! Read the story below to find out more).
BUT:
I have been trying something new, thanks to PDL. I have been consciously changing my attitude towards things I dislike. Let me explain through an example. Tonight, I went to Wal-Mart (today was payday, and I had very little food in the apartment). I don't mind being in Wal-Mart when it's busy, since I'm a pretty laid-back shopper (mostly since I was a cashier; I understand what a busy line is like). But, as with many other things, the idea of having to put away groceries struck me as I was leaving the store.
And here's where something I haven't done before.
I told myself not to have that attitude. In fact, what I should be is thankful that a) I have a job that allows me to have the money to buy groceries, b)I have a Wal-Mart within a 10 minute drive, and c) I have the physical capabilities to walk through the store, drive a car, and carry groceries. And you know what? Putting away groceries felt like it took so much less time. Same with the dishes earlier tonight (meaning five minutes ago).
As I've said. . . I'm on my way. Little steps forward are still moving me in the direction I need to go.
Man. . . I'm tired. But onward I must forge! And I don't have to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow, so I'll be fine. This will probably just end up as another link-less entry for the time being.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How often do we give God the leftovers? Whether it's money, time, or whatever else, it's like "what's left must be what He wanted to have anyway." No. No, no, no. I wish I were more of a morning person, because I would prefer to spend the morning with focused time on God rather than the end of the day (but if you know me, you know I have a hard time getting out of bed unless it's for something quite special. . . but does that mean that spending time with God isn't special? Hmmmm. . . personal challenge. I must reflect on this). I'm actually doing some budgeting tomorrow (part of my purging process; also on the purge list is to clean up my apartment, catch up on lesson plans, and set up my gradebook for the next set of students. And I *think* that's all I'm doing this weekend. You know, nice and relaxing weekend :-P) so I need to keep in mind that it's really His money and portion out expenses as such.
There are four characteristics of pleasing worship (I love the book's organizational techniques; it keeps me semi-focused). First is accuracy. We have to "worship in truth," which means we are worshipping God as He is, and not as how we want to think He could be. I know I'm still trying to figure out whatever aspects of Him I can with my limited human abilities, but I think my mental image of God is pretty much based on Scripture. I make comparisons to ways I see Him working in my life to things that happen in the Bible, rather than just using what I perceive (i before e, except after c. . . so I must have spelled that correctly).
Authenticity is the second attribute. My favorite statement from this section? "God-pleasing worship is deeply emotional and deeply doctrinal. We use both our hearts and our heads." I completely relate to this, especially as a musician. While I love "feeling" the music and getting caught up in the aesthetic, I get just as much enjoyment studying how and why music works. I can still remember the feeling I got from an hour long lesson on the Beethoven G major Fluteclock work I played on organ my last semester. Dr. Shrock and I spent an hour on a 2.5 minute piece, talking about all the different articulations and phrasing possibilities. We did something similar that semester with Schroeder's Op. 9, No. 1. Great opus of little pieces, and so wonderfully crafted! It's just as exciting for me to analyze music as it is to perform it (yep, I actually love score study, even if it's just for score study's sake, even though that never really happens since I'm likely to play, rehearse, or hear a live performance of the piece. . . anyway). I know I've felt that "aesthetic" aspect of worshipping God. I'm working on building the "analysis" and finding that I keep wanting to know more.
The book also talks about finding worship styles that suit your personality. One thing I really like about SBC is the varied services (I know I've talked about it before). And it talks about ways people draw near to God (I won't list them all). I find myself to be closest to a "sensate," meaning I love God through senses (smelling, seeing, tasting, smelling, and hearing, of course), but find other parts of the list apply to me as well (caregiver and intellectual probably comprise the top three with sensate, but sensate is definitely #1).
Third is having thoughtful worship. I just told my band students that if they're going to bother playing a note on their instrument, it had better be with intent, or why are they bothering? I think I need to ask myself that same thing when it comes to worship. And, if worship is a lifestyle. . . what an intersting concept. If I'm not living all parts of my life with the intent to please God, then what am I doing?
The last thing the book mentions is worship that is practical (I DIDN'T use "finally"!). The living sacrifice analogy has come up again, which makes me think that I need to think about it more and apply it consistently to my life. I like the "body" vs. "spirit" aspect. We are not called to just offer our spirit to worship (Love the Lord your God with all your soul) but with our body! We gotta be doing something with ourselves other than thinking positively about it. The last part in this chapter has started to convict me: ". . . worship takes effort and energy. It is not always convenient or comfortable, and sometimes worship is a sheer act of the will- a willing sacrifice." There are nights (like last night)where I'm so tired and/or busy that by the time I get into my bedroom, I just want to pass out. This is the major disadvantage to saving my "God-time" for the end of the day. Although it's nice to lay all my cares and prepare myself for sleep (and wow, has my insomnia decreased in major ways since I've gotten into this habit!), sometimes it takes SO MUCH WORK just to get myself to do it. Isn't it worth it though? I need to put that question on the wall above my bed.
And finally I wrap this chapter up-
Point to Ponder: God wants all of me.
I discovered another aspect of my life I need to work on giving over today. With the situation I have at my job, I am trying to make certain parts of it work with only my human strength, and some of those things are not working out. I gotta work on giving those over.
Verse to Remember: Mark 12:30- "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." New International Version
I always mess up the order of these four. I like the new(-ish. . . it's played on Z, so who knows how recent it really is? haha) song that basically just sings that verse over and over, with slight variations (I will serve my God is one of them). It's catchy, and has a great message.
. . .and it just came on. Thanks for the back up, God :)
Question to Consider: Which is more pleasing to God right now- my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?
I would have to say my private worship is flourishing, and while my public worship at church is great, there are still 6 other days of the week where I am not always (or even mostly) representing God yet. If you've read any of the past entries, you know some of the things I'm working on. The existence of this blog is part of it, too.
Alright, off to bed. Happy three day weekend (and purging)!
However, that means I'm going to have a TON of dishes to do. . . on top of the dirty ones already piled (LATER: I did the dishes, no complaints and no problem! Read the story below to find out more).
BUT:
I have been trying something new, thanks to PDL. I have been consciously changing my attitude towards things I dislike. Let me explain through an example. Tonight, I went to Wal-Mart (today was payday, and I had very little food in the apartment). I don't mind being in Wal-Mart when it's busy, since I'm a pretty laid-back shopper (mostly since I was a cashier; I understand what a busy line is like). But, as with many other things, the idea of having to put away groceries struck me as I was leaving the store.
And here's where something I haven't done before.
I told myself not to have that attitude. In fact, what I should be is thankful that a) I have a job that allows me to have the money to buy groceries, b)I have a Wal-Mart within a 10 minute drive, and c) I have the physical capabilities to walk through the store, drive a car, and carry groceries. And you know what? Putting away groceries felt like it took so much less time. Same with the dishes earlier tonight (meaning five minutes ago).
As I've said. . . I'm on my way. Little steps forward are still moving me in the direction I need to go.
Man. . . I'm tired. But onward I must forge! And I don't have to wake up at 5:30 tomorrow, so I'll be fine. This will probably just end up as another link-less entry for the time being.
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How often do we give God the leftovers? Whether it's money, time, or whatever else, it's like "what's left must be what He wanted to have anyway." No. No, no, no. I wish I were more of a morning person, because I would prefer to spend the morning with focused time on God rather than the end of the day (but if you know me, you know I have a hard time getting out of bed unless it's for something quite special. . . but does that mean that spending time with God isn't special? Hmmmm. . . personal challenge. I must reflect on this). I'm actually doing some budgeting tomorrow (part of my purging process; also on the purge list is to clean up my apartment, catch up on lesson plans, and set up my gradebook for the next set of students. And I *think* that's all I'm doing this weekend. You know, nice and relaxing weekend :-P) so I need to keep in mind that it's really His money and portion out expenses as such.
There are four characteristics of pleasing worship (I love the book's organizational techniques; it keeps me semi-focused). First is accuracy. We have to "worship in truth," which means we are worshipping God as He is, and not as how we want to think He could be. I know I'm still trying to figure out whatever aspects of Him I can with my limited human abilities, but I think my mental image of God is pretty much based on Scripture. I make comparisons to ways I see Him working in my life to things that happen in the Bible, rather than just using what I perceive (i before e, except after c. . . so I must have spelled that correctly).
Authenticity is the second attribute. My favorite statement from this section? "God-pleasing worship is deeply emotional and deeply doctrinal. We use both our hearts and our heads." I completely relate to this, especially as a musician. While I love "feeling" the music and getting caught up in the aesthetic, I get just as much enjoyment studying how and why music works. I can still remember the feeling I got from an hour long lesson on the Beethoven G major Fluteclock work I played on organ my last semester. Dr. Shrock and I spent an hour on a 2.5 minute piece, talking about all the different articulations and phrasing possibilities. We did something similar that semester with Schroeder's Op. 9, No. 1. Great opus of little pieces, and so wonderfully crafted! It's just as exciting for me to analyze music as it is to perform it (yep, I actually love score study, even if it's just for score study's sake, even though that never really happens since I'm likely to play, rehearse, or hear a live performance of the piece. . . anyway). I know I've felt that "aesthetic" aspect of worshipping God. I'm working on building the "analysis" and finding that I keep wanting to know more.
The book also talks about finding worship styles that suit your personality. One thing I really like about SBC is the varied services (I know I've talked about it before). And it talks about ways people draw near to God (I won't list them all). I find myself to be closest to a "sensate," meaning I love God through senses (smelling, seeing, tasting, smelling, and hearing, of course), but find other parts of the list apply to me as well (caregiver and intellectual probably comprise the top three with sensate, but sensate is definitely #1).
Third is having thoughtful worship. I just told my band students that if they're going to bother playing a note on their instrument, it had better be with intent, or why are they bothering? I think I need to ask myself that same thing when it comes to worship. And, if worship is a lifestyle. . . what an intersting concept. If I'm not living all parts of my life with the intent to please God, then what am I doing?
The last thing the book mentions is worship that is practical (I DIDN'T use "finally"!). The living sacrifice analogy has come up again, which makes me think that I need to think about it more and apply it consistently to my life. I like the "body" vs. "spirit" aspect. We are not called to just offer our spirit to worship (Love the Lord your God with all your soul) but with our body! We gotta be doing something with ourselves other than thinking positively about it. The last part in this chapter has started to convict me: ". . . worship takes effort and energy. It is not always convenient or comfortable, and sometimes worship is a sheer act of the will- a willing sacrifice." There are nights (like last night)where I'm so tired and/or busy that by the time I get into my bedroom, I just want to pass out. This is the major disadvantage to saving my "God-time" for the end of the day. Although it's nice to lay all my cares and prepare myself for sleep (and wow, has my insomnia decreased in major ways since I've gotten into this habit!), sometimes it takes SO MUCH WORK just to get myself to do it. Isn't it worth it though? I need to put that question on the wall above my bed.
And finally I wrap this chapter up-
Point to Ponder: God wants all of me.
I discovered another aspect of my life I need to work on giving over today. With the situation I have at my job, I am trying to make certain parts of it work with only my human strength, and some of those things are not working out. I gotta work on giving those over.
Verse to Remember: Mark 12:30- "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." New International Version
I always mess up the order of these four. I like the new(-ish. . . it's played on Z, so who knows how recent it really is? haha) song that basically just sings that verse over and over, with slight variations (I will serve my God is one of them). It's catchy, and has a great message.
. . .and it just came on. Thanks for the back up, God :)
Question to Consider: Which is more pleasing to God right now- my public worship or my private worship? What will I do about this?
I would have to say my private worship is flourishing, and while my public worship at church is great, there are still 6 other days of the week where I am not always (or even mostly) representing God yet. If you've read any of the past entries, you know some of the things I'm working on. The existence of this blog is part of it, too.
Alright, off to bed. Happy three day weekend (and purging)!
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